Sharen caur.

A post for old time sake.

2011-10-07T08:36:00.002+08:00

Oh my god , i totally forgot that this blog was still running , i thought i had closed it down way long back , Cool shit.
Haha, omg how so many things have changed & occured.
Blogspot's dead , i've moved on to tumblr now .
So if anyone still reads my blog , do follow me on tumblr.

www.dancingwithrobots.tumblr.com
And to those who don't know what a tumblr is , it's way better then facebook , twitter , myspace , tagged & blogspot , so see ya there (:

and to the person who said a horse is prettier , thankyou. Atleast it shows you have a heart to be nice to animals (:

2010-07-10T13:43:00.004+08:00

Friendship ? ; biggest joke.

No one can be trusted , yes this post is for you.
Read with with a cool mind and not the fact that there is hatred already in your for me.

I cried every night , i called you and cried thinking you were a friend who would be there , thinking i could trust you , but what did you do? ; simply told someone else and made a mockery out of me , how many other things you must have said heh?
Nevermind , all i want to say it , there`s no point anymore.

What goes around comes back around.
Thought you were a true friend , i never bitched about you or your girlf during this whole process and it hit me like that.
Tell me is this fair ? ; is this how we say goodbye ? , it`s your call.

I`m done .
Bye.

2010-06-18T23:41:00.001+08:00

They run from my eyes ,

Carving lines across my face

Breaking through my armor

Making me cold

These tears wont stop

These tears for you

They break through my armor

They bring me down

These tears can't be undone

Like a dream that can be undreamt

No matter how much you try they will never fade

They never leave

These tears are for you

But you'll never see them

When you're around my armors to thick

Not even these tears can break it

I wish you would see

What this has done to me

I try my hardest to tell you

But all I can do is cry

Alone with no one

Alone with myself

It isn't fare to make you cry

So I'll wear these tears for us both

I love you.

<3 you , 29-05-2010 .

2010-05-22T03:23:00.003+08:00

; Like me for what ?

There`s nothing in me that you should like , maybe if u like me cause i`m a totall retard i can understand , other then that , nah.
There is so much better for you out there , i treat you so cold , i try and make you dislike me , but yet you still can`t.

I`m the biggest bitch ever , you`ll regret being with me , so i`m giving you this chance , this opportunity to walk away , cause i know myself best.
How can a girl like me be with a guy like you ?
We are from 2 different worlds , you`ve made me scared to even be close to you
and one thing i really hate about you is when you say , "you want you can call my friend and ask now ", this la that la , every single time
It really gets on my nerves and makes me not want to reply you ,
But still i do , cause i wont want you to go through what i went through from H*
Cause i noe it sucks, and i`m the only one who has gone through that much of pain and still am able to survive.
I don`t want some other to go through the exact same thing.

You`r a great friend , i admit ; but time`s just not right.
Goodbye
That`s all i have now.
Be honoured , this 1 whole post was for you.

2010-05-15T01:57:00.002+08:00

; I MIGHT AS WELL TAKE A GUN AND PUT IT TO HIS HEAD ; GET IT OVER WITH.

2010-04-09T21:36:00.003+08:00

BYE BYE HOLS , HELLO NURSING.

Well its the end of my holidays already , Monday is back to school for all the ITE students.
For me , i`ll be doing my attachment over at SGH , Singapore General Hospital , i`m actually abit excited , but i`m scared !
So Thursday , i went to school to revise through our skills , but in the end we ended up playing Poker for the whole time we were there , but i did go into the lab to practice my skills.
I need to know a little bit , i can`t possibly go to the hospital without knowing anything.
I`M LAZY TO UPLOAD THE UNIVERSAL STUDIO`S PICTURES.
its in facebook though.
I wanna make many many many many friends :D

I`m listening to outdated song , i find that the songs have so much meaning .
I realize everytime i blog , there`s something i need to say , some feelings that have to be expressed.

In my life , i`ve lost many friends , because they choose to leave .
I miss everything , i miss many things , i miss how everything used to be.
I miss laughing every time , every day , I miss my old life.
But then , new friends come , and we move on.
Our old friends choose to judge us or move away.
I dont know whats wrong with me .
I feel empty , i have this feeling of emptiness in me.
I don`t know what to do.
Goodbye.

2010-03-29T02:33:00.003+08:00

I CAN BE YOUR MELODY.
I`ve been spending my holidays by basically
Eating , sleeping ( ALOT) , Msning , Slacking , and Playing Left4Dead2.
My latest addiction , i am so addicted to the game.
At first i used to play it 1 week once at the lan shop over at hougang.
Ever since my brother bought the game , i`ve been glued to the computer screen.
I`ll show you how addicted i was.
I was in the lift 2 days back , i was holding a water bottle.
i started shooting the lift door thinking there were zombies behind the door .
And then i started laughing to myself thinking what if there was a camera in the lift ? ,
the security people would be laughing their asses off ! , then i thought ah screw it !
And started shooting the door again. -.-
i know i know , i need help !
HAH. ! I was playing L4D2 today , i started at 4pm , and played till 11pm.
And the strange thing was i didn`t realize i was playing till 11pm !
I was seriously shocked.
My cousins came over ystd and so kecho -.-
Hahs, all the nonsense they did made my day , though half the time i was playing Left4dead.
HAHA ! , my school holidays are ending soon , and i`m abit upset ! haiz.
but recently i`ve been sleeping early.
From sleeping at 6am , i`ve been sleeping at 2-3am ?
improvement i know !
Tuesday i`ll be heading down to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS !
OMG !!! INSERT HAPPY HAPPY FACE :D
i can`t wait seriously .
Me , Malvin , Tan , Ashwin , My bro and My Aunt will be heading down there.
her company booked the thing , so it`ll be empty i guess , 7pm-11pm i guess.
Seriously , i cannot wait ! :D
Thanks for the awesome offer chachi !
:D

Alrighty then i`ll go offline.
Bbyebye :D
i wont post my emo feelings today.
i`m too happy.
XoXo.
SharenCAUR!

2010-03-19T04:33:00.002+08:00

Finally the holidays are here.
For about 1 whole month i`ll be eating , sleeping , lepaking.
Owling every night , omg hopefully i don`t get bored from it , i`m sure i wont.
I went over to our secondary school chalet today.
It was awesome meeting up with my classmates , i really miss them so much.
Hahks , felt great man.

Well , i`m slowly moving on ,
A very long way to moving on i guess , but hey ! , i`m trying .
And nothing can stop me from falling again , cause i know if you say those 2 words ( i`m sorry) , i`ll come flying back to you.
I know i`m dumb , but this is just me i guess.
I wanna change my blogskin , maybe i`ll start the hunt now.
Goodnight ! , or shall i say goodmorning ?

I miss my family , Ite family.
Fatin , eunice , kak feyra , siti , suhaili .
Yeah , haiz ! Whenever i was sad atleast they were there to cheer me up , now i`ve to cheer my ownself when i`m home alone.
My phone can`t text much also , stupid contract over , then the free unlimited sms got cut.
Argh !

Bye ! :D

2010-03-11T01:51:00.003+08:00

;The girl who never fails to make my day.
Well , First term`s over.
School`s out for a month , and in April Hospital Attachment starts.
Yes i`m afraid , but i have to be ready for the upcoming battles.
This is no secondary school work anymore , this is no working on dummies , this is working on real paitents , real humans.
Omg , scary .
Well the hospital postings are out and all.
Eunice & i are in the same group ; she was like so happy .
She grabbed me and ran down the stairs.
I was still in blurness ? .
Fatin`s alone , but that doesn`t matter , cause i know that this friendship will last.
Unlike some people in my life who can`t be bothered to even contact me again.
Nvm won`t talk about that.

What am i getting myself into ? , do i really want this now ?
Am i ready for anything ? , i myself don`t even know the answer. I don`t want anything now , the last thing i need now is getting hurt .
I just wanna enjoy my 1 month of holiday by sleeping , eating , slacking , tv.
Nights world.

2010-01-17T05:03:00.005+08:00

; I survived school like how anyone would survive on a japanese game show.

Well school has been alright so far , more of the stupid tamilehs screaming my name from cafe 1 , and chooting.
But i`m already used to it .
Yeah , so lessons already started , and we have gotten our books.
Uniforms not yet , cause no stock , and it`s really irritating.
The girls in my class are super bitchy la ! & i cannot stand this one girl , one day imma fight with her.She clearly don`t know who she messing with. Wrong cookie to fight with la bitch.
Viinod is moving house soon and sanjiv is still not talking to me .
Sighs , some sort of brother you are.
Nevermind not gonna talk about that.
Lately i started talking to sham less , i feel bad but then sighs.
I also don`t know why .

I don`t know why but i just feel like screaming all that i wanna say in here.
Though it won`t be screaming.
I wanna go to the beach and scream everything inside of me to come out .
To let all the hurt and anger in me to just come out and disappear.
Release all the anger , pain , sorrow , hurt and let them dissolve.
I`m not meant to be like that , i`m a happy person . This anger and hurt is really affecting me.
yes , why am i suddenly talking about all this ? I also dont know .
but one thing for sure , i don`t love you as much as i did .
I`m slowly starting to let go , but i know i`ll run back if you come back.
I`m stupid i know , but that is just how i am and its time to accept that fact.
Our friendship started of with me laughing at you for the songs in your phone , but it ended with me crying for you , to be with you.
To understand you was very difficult , but i took that challenge .
& It somehow seemed that i failed , even though i thought i was in the process of winning.
Suddenly in a day , i lost everything . It seemed to me like nothing mattered to you at all .
but i stayed strong , i continued trying , but i just kept failing every single time.
Then came the day where nothing seemed to work out between the two of us except , being friends.
I didn`t mind , but it was hard cause i never took you as a friend to even begin with.
I just wished , you`d had given us a chance.
but i thank you for not giving us a chance , you gave me a chance , to be hurt , and to understand what it is like loving someone who is not meant to be with you .
Though i had been through that , you made it seem tougher , and i learned alot of things also.
Though i said my pm`s wont be to you , somehow it still does refer to you.
I`m sorry , i know i`m making things awkward but what am i supposed to do !? .
I`m trying okay , just know that i am really trying my best.

Coughing sucks .
hahaks , having sorethroat sucks.
Omg , i wonder how Hamzah is .
his operation was on tuesday , and he still hasnt came online , or msged or called.
i really wish you are fine .
You will always remaind that bestfriend (:
I remember every single word u said before going for your operation.
Hamzah , stay strong.

Well , i took medicine but not helping.
But i have to sleep now cause it`s late.
Nights everyone : D
SharenCAUR. !

; i wanted you , but i never got it .
i wanted love , but you never gave it.
i got hurt , but i still loved you.
Everything i ever said , was always true.

2010-01-10T00:31:00.002+08:00

; Say a prayer to yourself , close your eyes , Sometimes it helps.

Well the answer to my question was already answered by the silence .
But i still had to get it confirmed , and i was right . I knew what the answer was going to be , therefore i was well prepared , and it was kind of expected , therefore i wasn`t really that hurt or anything.
But , not all stories have bad endings , Due to this situation.
I got back Hamzah ! (:
My bestie idiot. I chatted with him on msn all the way till he fell asleep.
I am so happy to have him back in my life. The best part of all this is ,
he`s a changed person now . The way he cares , the way he chats , is totally diffrent.
But he is still the same hamzah i knew 10 months back.
Hamzah , 7th of march will be exactly a year since i`ve known you.
And i will never ever forget you in my life.
The countless number of times u`ve irritated me , you always know the right thing to say to cheer me up. It`s like you understand me , but u are stubborn yourself. (:
But , you will always be an awesome friend , On the 12 of january is your bloody operation.
I`ll pray for you alright , and i wont forget what you said to me
U wish that you`ll never forget me.
Hamzah , you`ll be fine , I know you will be.

Grrrr ! i`m still having sorethroat .
And today i totally forgot i was having it once i woke up.
I brushed teeth and all , sat down to eat.
I ate something really spicy with rice , and after the fifth bite , i realized i was having sorethroat.
The pain was so unbearable , i stopped eating , and decided to head back to sleep :D
I woke up around 6 plus , cousins came over .
For the first time , no one chio me go down .
Wahh , bored. Stayed home talked to sham , then decided to have some family bonding.
Talked to family all , was really fun .
I never really gave it a shot . Then followed them go Hougang point , go ntuc.
I bought loads of fried food , food , and etc stuff relating to me eating : D
HAHA.
Well , thats about all
I`m going to go drink water .
My throat`s being a bitch.

I miss my friend who passed away.
May she Rest in peace , and remain happy no matter where she is.
I really want her to know , that i`m missing her badly.
And i`ve cried so much just for her.
Girl , you`r my everything , i really wished i had spent much more time with you.
Jessmyn Dhillon , I love you.

Goodnight world.

SharenCaur.

XoXo.

2010-01-08T18:14:00.002+08:00

; The song that left me speechless.
; Read the lyrics , love.

I told myself today was gonna be the day,
No more excuses cause I knew exactly what to say.
Was gonna make my play, but just like yesterday my mind erased
and I let the moment slip away.
Another night I'll be sitting here all by my own,
picking up the phone,
but I can't get past the dial tone
racking my brain, going insane.
Again and again, I can't keep going this way.
Crushed by the sweetest lips I never kissed.
And your fingertips and the warmest touch I've always missed.
Crushed
By the softest hands I never held.
Probably never tell, you're the strongest love I ever felt.
Crushed
That I haven't ever let you know
How it always goes
Cause I lose my nerve whenever you get close.
And So I'm left, short of breath with that heavy feeling in my chest.
Baby I'm so Crushed.

Crushing,
Im so into to you
Dont know what Im gonna do
Gotta find a way to you
I dont know just what to do
Crushing,
Im so into to you
Dont know what Im gonna do
Gotta find a way to you
Oh Im
Crushing,
Im so into you
Dont know what Im gonna do
Gotta find a way to Youuuu.
And so Im left,
Short of breath
With that heavy feeling in my chest
Baby im so
Crushed.

This song really expresses it siaa ! Hhahks .
Well it`s friday , i`m suppose to get the answer today , but yeha.
i`ll message him at night i guess and then i`ll see how it goes.
I really hope he has given this much thought , cause i`ve waited so yeah.

I SURVIVED FIVE DAYS OF ITE !
yay , OMG THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY LA! haha.
I`m gonna wake up late tmr !
Miss being an owl , i wanna go down tomorrow also and lepak.
Rakesh is angry at me i think , lol?. .. nvm.
Viinod and i also had an arguement. Sighs , i took my anger on him.
I cried alot last night , i missed Jessmyn really badly.
I was talking to sham and suddenly i started crying badly.
Well , i wanna be happy .
Smile sharen , you`r strong.

That`s all , byebye.
Watch me all night
I'm moving to the light
Because I understand

That we all need love
And I'm not afraid
To feel the love
But I don't feel that way no .
ilyk.

shArenCaur!

2010-01-04T21:50:00.003+08:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL , OMIGOSH !
GOODBYE , OWLING DAAAAYS !

Rakesh called me , i was mad at first cause he didn`t called me yesterday when he booked in ,
then after he explained what happened , we talked for like 10 mins then he had to go .. Lights out =(
Well he says he might meet us on saturday.
Well , he better.

OMG , SCHOOL WAS A HORROR.
Okay , maybe i`m not giving it a chance , well idk.
But the school is so big , and the first day already the lecturers so fierce , i mean chill uh.
I can get lost in the school sia , this block , that block .. Woah , totally big !
Thank god i wrote down little notes :D
My new classmates are ... okay.. they seem friendly , but not all of them.
I decided to mingle with my own kind ! , indians !
hahaks , shanu , shalini & habiba ! hahaks , the 3 names i can remember !
They are really nice girls . Habiba and i laugh at every damn thing , hahaks !
Well maybe i`ll give it another shot. But they make us walk here walk there , wah tiring sia !
ahaks. I SAW KHAI AND I WAS LIKE SO HAPPY , THAT I SCREAMED HIS NAME AND HUGGED HIM , and i think so many ppl saw. LOL !
hilmi was like " eh eh , girl ni siao eh" .
HAHAKS.
omg , atleast they are in the same school.
Met choti and nikku also :D
nice peeps la this ppl !
They`ll help me survive this year :D
Well well , thats all :D

The way you shake it , i`ve never seen an ass like that :D
& , she`s the one and only ,
SharenCAUR!

& i won`t like any other guy cause , i said i`ll never move on from you.
If being friends means getting you back , i will do it .
yeahyeah.
Byebye , takecares of yourself.

imyimyimyimy.

2010-01-02T02:01:00.002+08:00

I GOTTA FEELING , 2010 WILL MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON.

Well i spent my new year with the usual peeps.
Haks , and my usual routines certainly didn`t change .
I woke up at 3 , bathed and all , cousins all came over.
(Mother`s side family) , so then i went down to slack with viinod , pamela , rakesh & sundar.
Haks , bunch of assholes , sweet idiots luh this ppl.
Haks , Rakesh kept pulling my hair , he hasn`t change. Every damn chance he has , he`ll pull my hair. damn it !
Then came back home at around 8 plus , then cousins all still here.
Then more cousins came , then they left at around 12 ? yeahs.
Was watching wwe .. LOL ! , bored .. then was watching some tamil movie.
and everybody kept commenting ... your boyfriend tamil isit ? LOL !?
i`m multi racial , i watch every channel . I should be meeting rakesh and sundar again tomorrow.
idk ? , they`r out fishing , idk what for also , bunch of fools.
Ah , i`m bored bored bored.
Pamela was drunk when she met me , bloody idiot.
I ate 4 rounds of dinner .. Lol , something wrong with me.
I went hyper on chocolate today .. Shiok !
Viinod , kartik complained my blog posts are like composition like tht .
Thanks uh .
idiots.

Well that`s all for now !
Bbye ,
XoXo,
sharencaur.

; I know you see me smiling , cause i`m done with crying .

2010-01-01T02:26:00.004+08:00

; Don`t worry , you didn`t hurt me , you completely destroyed me <3

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

2010 - Will be the bomb digidy Bomb ( well , at least i hope it will be ).
For this year , i told myself .. no more enemies , i already have plenty .
And i`m going to try to study hard to make mom and dad proud of me.
I`m going to try to please everyone , but that doesn`t mean i`ll totally change.
Went over to Malvin`s house to celebrate his birthday.
He`s birthday`s on the 31st December ..
Basted , he collect alot of money sia ; had loads of fun.
well , some people got on my nerves but i controlled myself.
I kept my mouth shut no matter how badly i wanted to scream at them.
I swear if i had a chance , i would scream in their faces so that they`ll never forget and they`ll learn when to keep their mouth shut .
It`s all about the upbringing .
well that`s what everyone says and now i`ll say it too .
2009 was a bitch to me , i had loads of problems .
but i`m going to leave all that behind and keep walking and moving forward in live.
yes , i`V been hurt , but who cares am i right ?
Bro followed Malvin to some chalet .. and kartik invited me to sentosa .. but i couldn't`t make it cause dad don't allow .. he pampers his son more and he`ll give the same old reason when i ask why .. You`r a girl , you get pregnant how ... -.-'' lame shit.
Well yeah , so i reached home slightly before midnight , and watched the remaining of the Mr.Bean the movie .. recorded it .. Haks.
So i`ll update .
On the 30Th i went to watch Alvin & the chipmunk .
Haks ! Awesome movie !!!
Damn cute and funny uh . It really got my mind off things.
And i can say i Think i`m getting better.
Hahks .

I`ve been doing lots of stupid stuff to my body lately.
Wil not elaborate on that though.
Went for the medical thing today with jaspreet and Letitia .
They took my blood , X-tray ..
Damn , the doctor poked the needle in my arm and he was talking to the nurse.
i was like dying over there.
My blood came out lovely though . Dark red.
Awesome .
I should be meeting viinod , rakesh and sundar tomorrow , Yaaay.
Haks , met puranas and viinod today also .
Picture session , uploaded on Face book already.
Everyone`s like more happy then me that i got into nursing.
Hahaks , alright .

Well , that`s all for now !
BuhBye.
Loves ,
SharenCAUR.

; I can slowly hear the beat of my heart.

2009-12-29T01:46:00.003+08:00

; Yes & for the first time .. One whole post will go to you.
Thank you for breaking my stitched heart.
; I guess nothing could keep this love alive.

; I love you enough to let you go.
It`s killing me inside .
You doing this is really killing me inside.
I can hear my heart literally dropping.

; HE LEFT MY LIFE ; OH YES.

He ignores my messages , now he is avoiding answering my questions.
; and he started avoiding/ignoring me.
I hardly can concentrate on anything.
I don`t know what to do anymore.
I know everything that happened that day , i know about your conversation with your friends.
It doesn`t matter where we take this right ? ; you are never gonna want to be with me .
You are afraid , your messages were lies i guess.
Remember all those things we wanted ? ; now all our memories are haunted.
We were always meant to say goodbye.
I know you are probably thinking , i hurt her again .
Nopes , this time i hurt myself ..
My tears , my blood , everything i shed for you ..
Never one moment in these 6 days you cared.
You thought to yourself " ah , heck this girl la ". Thank you (:
You are letting go of this now , not me.
I did all that i could to save this .. But it didn`t work ..
You didn`t want it to work , so you probably made a plan to ignore me ..
To torture me .
& you called me heartless ? ; i doubt it`s me who is .
You seriously can`t even be bothered sia .
You wanna show me you are strong ? ; i kind of know you are not.
I didn`t want us to burn out ; didn`t come here to hurt you ..
Now i can`t stop . I want you to know ; I love you.
And i have done almost everything i can to be with you .
But it was one side.
Looking at you makes it harder ; but i know that you`ll find another
that doesn`t always make you wanna cry. Perfect couldn`t keep this love alive.
you could not have loved me any better , but i want you to move on .
So i`m already gone.

I was just reading through all our msgs .
Each and every single one (:
What sweet memories , the way we msged , the way we fought.
Haks , it sucks to know that now its no longer gonna be like that.
Boyy , i still remember the day , the date and the time i told you i liked you.
1st December 1.59am.
I have read all 858 messages i`ve sent you & all 852 messages you`ve sent me ever since we`ve known each other.
Thanks for knowing me , and i know i won`t forget you.

I love you (:

; Say you want to give this a chance , and i`ll forget everything and come running back to you.
SharenCaur.

2009-12-28T00:49:00.002+08:00

I`m busy trying to kill myself.

Goodbye (:

2009-12-26T00:44:00.004+08:00

; I`m picking myself up slowly from where we left off.

; & They all called me Barbie.

Hoho.
I had a very fun day .
Slept till 1 plus , woke up ..
Got ready and everything then headed over Pamela`s house for her X mas gathering with close friends.
Me , vickie , shaun , kov , pal & pamela decided to go down slack .
Shaun didn`t come though .. he stayed home.
I think he was gg out .
yeye , the grandma house
So me and pamela took like a million pichas.
which are alrdy uploaded on fb !
We took a group picture also .
Haks , then vickie like dont want take pic.
So i forced him to sit beside me and take a picture.
He did it , and like after a zillion times he finally liked 1 picture.
he is such a girl i swear : D
Kovalan and pal left later on , but then pal came back.
Haks , then we slacked all the way.
Then we decided to chow .
Pal sent me off , but then we decided to slack again.
So the two of us slacked.
Haks , then after talking , he sent me halfway then he made his way to aaron`s place i think.
Came home , and cousins , aunty and uncle were at my house.
So talked shit with them all , then sham called me , talked to him .. uploaded some pictures , then i went down to sent the rest off .
yeah.
& the your column !
are you really busy ?
Are we wasting our time ?
Nopes , i`m not hurt .. I`m just wondering , did i do something wrong?
Did i say something that upset you ? , I`m just confused cause no text , calls , msn .. Nothing.
Hope you`r fine.
Someone has been avoiding me for 2 days already.
It`s okay , i messaged them also got no reply.
So nvm , its cool .
Do what you want , i know i can control this .
I`m strong , i know i am .
but still , ignoring ? ; seriously ?
I`m heartless ... Maybe he took tht to heart.
Okayys.
Song song song .
Song for this time ..
Hmmmmmm .
Got it !

Fight for this love - Cheryl Cole.

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse, curse
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get your hurt
Is it better, is it worse
Are we sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards
I know where I want this to go
We're driving fast but lets go slow
What I don't want to do is crash, no

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
When it gets tough, got to fight some more
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for

Now everyday ain't gonna be no picnic
Love ain't no walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it, now
Can't be afraid of the dark

Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
When it gets tough, got to fight some more
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for

I don't know where we're heading
I'm willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast, we just need to slow down
And just roll

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
When it gets tough, got to fight some more
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for

2009-12-25T01:38:00.003+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL !

; Will be short cause i`m very sleepy and tired.
I`m shagged.

Actually when i was reading the text , realized how heartless ..
I got abit angry.
Actually pissed off.
Then i was like ...
Wth luh , how many days i never talk then i kena until like that.
Then then , i replied normally.
But i did have a heart , i did ask u to sleep.
I was kidding around , and he took it to heart.
I went shopping today - BORING.
Robbinsons , some shopping mall , idk the name .. in somerset.
Then , went to suntec city , helped out there.
Wah , it was very packed and so much to wrap.
Yeah , then like waited very long for the bus.
I`m tired.
I`m seriously very tired.
I think i`ll be sleeping early today.
hahaks , nahs.
I bought 2 dresses .
Darn nice luh.
Planning to go movie tomorrow ?
Not sure yet. I`m thinking ... where he sia ?
No reply nothing .. Nvm.

I tell you first :
I`m not slack , there are certain things that you do which i dont like.
But i just don`t say anything cause i`m afraid you`ll say i control you.
I am diffrent , but afterall , there will be something about me which is in every girl.
So yeah. I not sure why u never reply .. Either you busy or you`r sleeping.
I wont disturb , i`ll give you your space.

Haks , no time for song lyrics all.
too tired.

& I`ll mend your broken heart with mine.
LovesLoves.
MerryXmas.
SharenCAUR.

2009-12-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

; I LOST MY RUBBER BAND !!
=(

haks , after a year , it has decided to leave me today.
HAHA , i`m talking as if my boyfriend just broke up with me -.-
Okays , moving on since SOME PEOPLE WANTS ME TO GET OVER IT ! .
rawr.

I slept at 6 am , woke up at 10 am.
Jaspreet came over then we headed to serangoon central first.
Then we went dover , we ended up in tamp though .. took a train to dover then.
SO BLOODY LONG LA ! JASPREET`S FAULT : D
Did the ite thing.
which could have been done at home.
But noooooo , daddy wanted me to go there.
Yeah wasted my day there.
Then when over to suntec to give my friends a suprise.
Haks , met aladin , uzair , lia
basically i was so happy to see everyone.
Jaspreet left to meet karthik , etc etc.
After that awhile later , headed to serangoon north.
Met pamela . Then ate under the block.
Dennis randomly text me..
Was damn weird , he mentioned our past.
Wth ?
Okays moving on .
Cousin came over , then simi and parmesh came over.
Then , me , my bro , tan , simi and parmesh went over to changi.
Had dinner , lepaked , see the ferry thingie.
Then went to find for AHA.
but cannot .. dont have ! =(
Then headed back , slacked awhile , then sent parmesh off.
Tomorrow , i`m going robbinsons.
God save me , i`ve been gg out the whole week.
Just kill me =(

Boo you , finally finally , finally.
Back to normal.
I hope this`ll last.
Softie , best be soft forever .
Go play your feeeeeeefa.

With love love .
SharenCAUR!
xoxo.

Happy song .. hmm lemme think .
LALA - Ashlee Simpson.

You can dress me up in diamonds
You can dress me up in dirt
You can throw me like a line-man
I like it better when it hurts

Oh, I have waited here for you
I have waited

You make me wanna lala
In the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You can meet me on an aeroplane
Or in the back of the bus
You can throw me like a boom-a-rang
I'll come back and beat you up

Oh, I have waited here for you
Dont keep me waiting

You make me wanna lala
In the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna lala
In the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

I feel safe with you
I can be myself tonight
It's alright, with you
Cause you hold my secrets tight
You do, You do

You make me wanna lala lala..
You make me wanna lala lala..

You make me wanna lala
In the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna lala
In the kitchen on the floor
I'll be your french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna lala.

2009-12-23T01:17:00.002+08:00

; A broken heart is a heart that has felt love.
; Mine`s broken , is your`s?

; You can only push a girl for so long
until she walks out of your life on her own
So becareful and make sure this is what YOU want
Because once she turns around ; She isn`t Coming back.

Wah i`m in so much pain right now .
It`s killing me ... Not emotional pain , physical pain.
I hope i get better soon , if not this is going to give me a headache.
i`m going Dover tomorrow , for the Ite dental thing -.-
So far sia , gonna die siol.
Went toa pa yoh today . Haks .
First went to nichaal`s house to return her charger.
Kept ringing her bell : P , even after she opened the door.
Haks , she was getting ready , and i was like wanting her to hurry.
Then go toh pa yo .
Priya was an ass.
She made me enter Mac with her .. Then i asked her , what ya wanna eat.
She replied , oh we eating here ... then i was like .. Where u wanna eat.
She said Kfc , or maybe the coffeshop ontop. so i didn`t mind ... we walked to Kfc..
Then she said , eh here dont have the chicken thing.. i said , zinger ? she said nono . OH YA ! in burgerking... and macdonald was beside BURGERKING. so basically we were there in the first freaking place. Then she was like or maybe the Coffeshop .
I said , any freaking thing , i haven`t eaten properly for days and i`m starving.
So we finally ate at burger king.
Naren took his sweet time to come -.-
Haks , we went sky garden.
took like funneh pichas luh.
Naren was like this the lamest thing i`ve done !
Haks , there`s a first for everything.
Okay after writting all this , i`m still in pain.
Bitch !
hahaks . Had a quarel with sham.
He said the wrong thing , and i got pissed.
but i already warned him , tht my mood is bad for the past few days , dont piss me.
Sighs , i hate the fact that i`m pushing away my loved ones just cause of anger.
That`s all i guess.

; I want to be able to look at you & not feel my heart breaking .
SharenCAUR.

Do you know what it feels like , loving someone that`s in a rush to throw you away?
I know : D

Love , You`ll never know the minute it ends suddenly.
You left cause u said , you doubt you`ll ever feel for me as much as i feel for you.
Good reason , hopefully this makes ur heart think and not your mind for once.
Your problem was , from the start you never followed your heart .
You always followed what your mind wanted , but what about your heart ?
I`m sure it has a diffrent opinion.
My mind and heart were`nt on the same page when i decided to like you.
But i followed my heart thinking , i know i can try to change my mind`s thinking.
Being with you was all that mattered at that time.
but none of this matters now , so moshimoshi.
; The sweetest pleasure is pain.
No matter how hard i tried , i can`t live without you in my life
Maybe you`ll say you still want me ; Maybe you`ll say that you dont.
Maybe we said that it was over ; Maybe i can`t just let you go.
I walk around trying to understand where we went wrong & i can`t pretend.
It wasn`t me , it wasn`t you but , but i`m convinced we gave up to soon.
Nothing left to lose after losing you
There`s nothing i can take.
I wrote your name on the sand ; but the waves whispered it away.
It`s okay uh boy , what`s meant to be will always find it`s way.
i don`t wanna say much.
one day i`ll be strong .. , i hope.
Don`t be too late.

I`m not perfect , i`ll annoy you
Piss you off , say stupid stuff and take it back
but put that all aside and i`m sure you will see
You`ll never find a girl that cares and loves you
more then me.

The Veronica`s - I can`t stay away.

This is wrong
I should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away
Roses bloom
In your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away-ay

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I was numb
For you I come
Night and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I wish I could
Leave and never return
Baby, I know I should
But for you I burn

Stay away
'Cause I can't stay away-ay

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away, I can't stay away

2009-12-22T13:41:00.002+08:00

Wah for once i found the song that fits me in the perfect situation.
and i was like freaking shocked.
Haks , i`m gonna write the lyrics up .
And you`ll know exactly.

Avril Lavigne - Why.

Why, do you always do this to me
Why, couldn't you just see it through me
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe
I was the only one to fall

I can feel I can feel you near me
Even though you're far away
I can feel I can feel you baby
Why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

Are you and me still together
Tell me
You think we could last forever
Tell me
WhyHey
Listen to what we're not saying
Let's play
A different game then what we're playin'
Try
To look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe, I'm gonna let us fall apart

I can feel I can feel you near me
Even when you're far away
I can feel I can feel you baby
Why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

Are you and me still together
Tell me
You think we could last forever
Tell me
Why

so go and think about
whatever you need to think about
Go on dream about
Whatever you need to dream about
Then come back to me
When you know just how you feel, you feel

I can feel I can feel you near me
Even though you're far away
I can feel I can feel you baby
Why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

Are you and me still together
Tell me
You think we could last forever
Tell me
Why

About to head out with priya and the rest.
I can`t just stay home and rot everyday.
Going shopping tomorrow with mommy , simi , and bal.
Yay , girl`s day out : D
And i know that i don`t have to pay for anything i like , cause mom`s there.
If i were to open my eyes to reality , i realize my life isn`t really that bad.
I don`t need someone beside me , or maybe that`s what i think.
Well , simple .. i`ll go back to my old ways , playaaa :D
I don`t mind playing with hearts , well all`s fair .
I got mine broken , and how can a broken heart be broken again?
I`m fine btw , dont keep thinking i aint.
Brokenbrokenbroken.
But no , i`m going to show everyone i`m strong.
Though i very well know i`m not.
I know every time the name`s mentioned i`ll feel as though something poked my heart.
But i wont show that i`m affected.
I know when i`m alone , all the memories good or bad will make me cry , but i`ll still live.
Imma let nothing affect me.
Cause everything fades away within time .
Even hurt , and i know one day this will go away , and when it does that scar will appear
And then it`ll remind me i once loved you.
But i know for sure , not all scars leave behind a permanent mark.
Hopefully this does`nt either.
But i guess we have to still see each other no matter how hard we try to avoid each other.
If i`m gg over to meet ur bro , or u all come over.
It`s okay , i already thought about that.
I`ll act as if i`m met you for the first time.
I don`t even have to talk to you.
Yeah yeah , u ask why like tht.
but u know it kills me inside to even write my decisions down.
Well i`m heading out .
Tata`s .
& I wanna be able to look at him , smile and say Hey, what`s up ... without me dying inside.
SharenCAUR! (:

2009-12-22T01:36:00.003+08:00

You know every time you leave my life , it hurts more then whatever reason you have hurt me for before.
Our small quarrels are nothing as hurtful compared to our goodbyes.
I don`t want you to go away , cause i just want to know that i have you beside me every single day.
I miss you more then ever , i love you more then how much i used to .
For once i didn`t hurt myself at all , i managed to control my emotions not letting them controlling me.
And you taught me that , i learned tht from you , cause i rmb you once left me cause of tht ,
And i promised myself , i won`t do that ever again.
I promised you also , remember ?
See , i kept to it .
Been here all along for you , been here all along to understand you .
Will be here all the while to love , never will i leave you.
Though how many times you say you wanna let me go , i know i`ll hold on to you and i wont let go off you.
There is so much i can say , but i dont want .
cause i know u dislike clingy girls .
I can say more to express my feelings but i`ll pass on that.

Whatever the situation is , i`ll always be here for you alright.
I`m making this short and simple.
WithLove.
Sharen Caur.
Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me
Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me
I'm reaching out for you

Beautiful - Eminem

I'm just so fucking depressed, I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump, but I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps, fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up, in order for me to pick the mic back up
I don't know how or why or when, I ended up in this position I'm in
I'm startin' to feel distant again, so I decided to just pick this pen
Up to try to make an attempt to vent, but I just can't admit
Or come to grips with the fact that I may be done with rap, I need a new outlet
And I know some shits so hard to swallow, but I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow, but I know one fact, I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow, I'll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow, but you got to walk a thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eyes
But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humour
Everything's so tense and gloom, I
Almost feel like I gotta check the temperature of the room
Just as soon as I walk in, It's like all eyes on me, so I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that it then it opens the door for conversation, like I want that
I'm not looking for extra attention, I just wanna be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room, maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need no fuckin' man servant, tryna follow me around and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack, and half of them ain't even funny, like "AAHHHHH!
Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn!"
Unfortunately I am, I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down, listen to the tale I'm about to tell, hell
We don't gotta trade our shoes, and you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eyes
But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

Nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we're dealt
We gotta take these cards ourselves, and flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could of either just sat on my ass, and pissed and moaned
Or take this situation in which I'm placed in, and get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid to wait by the door and pack his bags
Or sat on the porch and hoped and prayed for a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in in every single place, every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid even if it meant acting stupid
Aunt Edna always told me, keep making that face til it gets stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standing there holding my tounge, tryna talk like BLEGH!
Then I stuck my tounge on that frozen stop sign pole at eight years old
I learned my lesson then, 'cause I wasn't trying to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story, not just based off my description
Cause where you see it form where you're sitting, is probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a miles in eachothers shoes at least
What size you wear, I wear 10's, let's see if you can fit your feet

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eyes
But don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don't let them say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me
Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me
I'm reaching out for you

Yeah, to my babies, stay strong, dad will be home soon
And to the rest of the world... God gave you them shoes, to fit you
So put them on and wear them... be yourself man, be proud of who you are
Even if it sounds corny... don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful

2009-12-21T21:32:00.004+08:00

; Mrs.Yao , Laura , Me , Hans & Mr Chan.
Mr Chan should be so proud cause i never passed science and i finally did : D

; Look at our happy faces : D All got promoted .

2009-12-21T17:54:00.002+08:00

Yawn yawn yawn , tireeeed!
Jaspreet woke me up saying , she , kiran , tia , karthik were under my block.
So woke up bathe and when i called em , they said come to Hg , wah sort.
So walked there , they were eating kfc , i passed on that.
So after tht , walked back to my block , slacked at the coffeshop.
Something damn hilarious happened. Won`t elaborate on tht , cause promised her.

Applying for the damn ite thing is like so irritating la.
then i keep getting stupid mosquito bites. ALL OVER MY BODY.
dammit.
I`m feeling much better , i managed to get my appetite : D
Simi is coming over so YAY.
Parmesh also , like finally after so long.

I feel bad , i`m sorry if i was to harsh.
Dammit , i didn`t mean to use all those bombastic words.
Sighs , guess i suck!
:D
Michael J - Smile.
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile , even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky , you`ll get by
If you smile with your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You`ll find that life`s still
worthwhile if you`ll just
Light up your face in gladness
hide every trace of sadness
although a tear may be ever so near
That`s the time you must keep on trying
Smile , what`s the use of crying
You`ll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile though your heart is aching
smile even though it`s breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you`ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
smile and maybe tomorrow
you`ll find that life is still worthwhile
if you''ll just smile.
That`s the time you must keep on trying
Smile what`s the use of crying
You`ll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile.

Second post ; bored bored bored.
Logging off ,
SharenCAUR!

2009-12-21T03:01:00.003+08:00

; Oh so badly does it sting.

Went bowling today , took pictures but then wont be uploading.
So unglam.
I wasn`t feeling well , i did`nt want to go , but dad forced me , and no one else seem to have been bothered , everyone was like just go just go .
If i would have freaking fainted how ? , No one understands.
The amount of pain i went through just to make everyone happy .
After the 4th game , i was in serious pain , it was so unbearable , i went to the toilet to cry.
No one was there for me , i did`nt want to ruin anyone`s mood , therefore i remained silent.
I tried controlling the pain , but i couldn`t . Then i asked dad for his car keys , talked to sham , and then i cried on the phone again , i just kept saying i wanna go home.
I did`nt eat the whole freaking day thanks to this. It was so hard to eat.
I drank ice lemon tea and took 4 bites of the food and that was my meal for the day.
I`m feeling like shit now , seriously , I have no mood , i`m sad for no reason .
And no one freaking bothers.
Thanks sham for calling me and wasting your prepaid , meant loads loads :D
Thanks karthik for being there : D
You best buy me my burger before you come my house tomorrow !

My poem ; i wrote it myself.

; I gave you my all , but you just didn`t care overall.
I wanted you so bad , the amount of tears i`ve shed.
Have you ever once cared ? , Haven`t you felt bad?.
Never have i been played out this much , i yearn for your touch.
All i wanted was a chance for us , but i get i should just let all this be my horrible past.
I tried so hard to understand you , look at how fast time flew.
Guess i`m never fit to be with you , Fixing the pieces of my broken heart with glue.
I`m falling apart once again , this will leave on my heart an unremovable stain.

Just keep on not bothering if you really want to lose me .
One day , this hurt will go away , though the scar will remain behind and remind me that the person i once loved the most , never really loved me back , but yet the scar is a big one , and hurts everytime i touch it.♥
So much for saying you aint leaving , never.
So much for saying you aint gonna let go.
I don`t wanna break you no more.. i see that u have put so much into this .. i haven't and i`m willing to put in as much right now.
Oh yeah , you are putting in ALOOOOT of effort.
You aren`t even trying.
U don`t want to break me no more ? , i`m hurt again .
You know , i don`t blame you , it`s a chore for me to get hurt . A daily routine.
Yeah you are a hard person to understand , but somehow i managed to put that behind and still try my best.
How much can i put in you tell me ? , it works two ways.
I feel so hurt you know , it`s like every word i`m typing , my heart just drops .
So much space given , yet i still don't get what is wrong.
What i lack to please you.
I really feel like crying and sometimes giving up .
But i know i won`t give up .
I did`nt the first time , i won`t now , and i will never.
its like you want me to hate you.
You enjoy life , without even thinking there is someone who stays up almost the whole night just to receive your text message .
After getting it , it makes her happy and she`s able to sleep.
Even though she`s ill , she still waits , hoping that everyday the text will come earlier and earlier.
Don`t feel guilty cause i never told you any of this , i did`nt want to .
But then it sucks , i put in so much love , effort and care and seriously nothing comes back in return.
Only waiting , waiting , waiting.
You simply avoid replying when i start a quarrel.
Which never helps things get better.
I`m lost .
Seriously lost.
How can someone not feel anything after knowing how much a girl loves em ?
It`s called heartless , which i really hope you`r not.

Trying to fix the broken pieces.
Hoho.
SharenCAUR.

2009-12-20T15:22:00.002+08:00

Cramps , flu . & headache.
Oh yea , perfect time for me to be sick =(
So freaking annoying , it`s like water stuck in my nose.
dammit.
Have not eaten cause it hurts , sighs. !
Had Another round of Monopoly last night , bro and ricky.
I know my brother very well . He has to win , if not his face , mood all will change.
And he`ll be damn serious until he finally wins again.
The funny thing was when he was loosing last night.
That look on his face - PRICELESS !
haks , k i`ll stop talking about my brother.
Sham called me at 5 am + , we talked till like 6.30 plus ? , yeah.
Woke up at 3pm today , Still sick.
Pamela`s working todayyy , sighs!
I suddenly have a craving for Kit kat.
i doubt we`ll be gg bowling today , not sure yet.
Booooooo ya !

I kept thinking to myself last night , is this true ?
All of a sudden everything was in place .
But now it suddenly feels it`s not again
When i said text me once u`r home , you said u will .
You didn`t even text. And i`m still waiting for ur text.
I`m not gg to be the first one to text , since you said , you are gg to put in as much effort as i did.
So try , you ain`t serious? , Be serious .
You can`t say those three words , Learn to say it.
Cause it all matters , and i know you can do it .
Never leaving is what u said , idk if u were drunk or anything but whatever it is.
You have to put in this effort.
Cause i did not go through a whole lot of hurt for no reason.
I`m not gg to say much.
But after those msgs ,
You changed my life into a fairytale (:

& I love you.
XoXo,
SharenCAUR!.

2009-12-19T17:07:00.003+08:00

; It`s like a past time to get hurt over & over again.

Well basically i`m freaking bored thts why i`m posting two times. This is what happens when u update ur blog in the middle of 2-3 am and when u having nothing to do at 5pm. Haks , i`ll be going down to meet viinod soon , catch up. Had fun last night , kiran , my brother and karthik . We were up playing Monopoly . ! haks wth right ! It was awesome though , like i wasn`t concentrating , was more into taking webcam pics of myself. before the monopoly , kiran and my bro were playing the ps3 while i was using karthik`s msn and chatting to half of his friends. Used his facebook account to write me comments : D so evil right ? . hahaks , DEAL WITH IT ! Kiran went back around 4.45am plus , the rest played till 6am in the morning , then karthik left and i went to my room and started thinking of certain stuff which really hurt , after 10 mins or so , i fell asleep : D . Woke up at freaking 4pm sia. Well had shower , ate then watched tv , planning to go down soon. I might be gg bowling tomorrow with the entire family , dad`s idea cause of the N lvl thingie , cousins agreed to it , so yeah we`ll see ? .

If you read this .
I am hurt , infact very hurt , but if this is what you really want then i guess i can`t do much.
I don`t want to be a leech and beg you to give this a chance . Though i just want to say a last thing.
You`ll never know if you can commit to something unless you try
Don`t give urself a chance in the future to look back and say , what if i had give us a try .
Now that`ll suck. I have already done everything i could in this , so i`m backing out.
I already told you , christmas . Though all this tht has happened , i`ll still wait till christmas.
After that , you can live your life the way you want to and i`ll live mine the way i want to.
I have learned that goodbyes will always hurt , pictures will never replace having been there , memories good and bad will bring tears and Words can NEVER replace feelings.
Being hurt by someone you truly care about leaves a hole in your heart that only love can fill.
It`s weird when i know the end of something great is coming , but i still want to hold on , just for one more second just so it can hurt a little more.
You know me more then you think you know , just as you know less than you want to know.
I`v been hurt that one time where the place tries to heal a bit , but i just pull the scar off of it over and over again.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.

Here`s a classic one i just thought of
; If i never met you , i wouldn't like you. If i didn't like you , i wouldn`t love you.
If i didn`t love you i wouldn`t miss you. But i did , i do & i will.
My friend once told me that ; Love is when you shed a tear and still want him , it`s when he ignores you and you still love him , it`s when he loves another girl but you still smile and say i`m happy for you when all you actually do is cry.
yeah i`m smiling but deep down inside damn , i`m dying.
I think i`ve over expressed how shitty i`m feeling and that`s all for today.
This isn`t to make you feel guilty , it`s just how fucked i`m feeling and i dont think i should hide my feelings as this is my only way of expressing myself.

With No love ,
SharenCAUR.

2009-12-19T01:52:00.003+08:00

& SHAREN CAUR PASSED HER DANG N LVLS , WITH A EXACT DANG SCORE OF 19 POINTS. :D

You ask the weirdest questions when u already know the answers , you never once stop to think how i`m feeling ? , yeah ask yourself.
Dang i`m pissed of at rishi , i know tht u fucking betrayed my trust , You want to care about ur ex girlfriend and diss me right ? , fine go ahead cause i for one cannot be bothered.

As for the other one , im sorry for having to hurt you but it really sucks to be in a situation where i dont know if we can even be together or not .? i don`t even know what you want in this situation .
You keep avoiding it , the only reason i `m staying back its cause i feel for you aite.

idk , your choice , thats all i have been saying from the start .
Decide fast , cause once a thing is gone , it`ll never come back.
I came back cause i wanted this chance. And now i dont even know what my chance is going to turn out to be.

Goodbye , Goodnights.
SharenCAUR!

2009-12-18T00:56:00.005+08:00

; Even you were a lie

I`m feeling a little weird .
Like ever since i rebonded my hair , i`v been getting '' oh damn hot'' all the way .
But it feels so shitty , like when i had curls u couldn't`t notice me ? , There are those who still love me like how they used to , that is why i don't like people who judge , it`s so irritating .
Well tomorrow is the big day !
Booms - N level Results , we all know i ain't gg to do well , so best be prepared.
I know even though i`m not gg to pass , i still am sad that mom and dad will be hurt.
Sighs , I`m sorry mom and dad .
It`s so hard for me to ever make u guys proud of me , it`s like i`v been a disappointment to you ever since birth , and i know that someday you`ll be proud of me (:

You changed up your make up your DNA .
i can`t recognise you`r a stranger to me.
Get me out of here , cause my eyes are burning from these silly tears.
Someone get me out of this place.

Your heart is so cold and now i`m freezing.
It`s so hard to understand you , why u being so difficult to be with , to love ?
U say you like me , but you simply don`t show it , nor do you even bother to TRY and show it either. I don`t know what your motive is , breaking me ? , trying to tell me that i can only remain miserable my whole life? , I for one thought u were so different , i thought u were better then the others , but now it seems you are just the same , you are no different , i can`t see any difference at all.
I wish i could rip out a page of my memory.
Can`t wait for me to get through this stage.
Patience running out , i`m having nightmares.
This love is taking all of my energy .
Such a mystery when he`s here with me.
This ain't how we were suppose to be.
Why did you change so much ? , it`s killing me to think we can be the same , it`s killing me to even think we could be like before.
It kills me to think you were the person i thought i once knew.
You aren`t the person i first knew , Wake up i know you are somewhere in this disguise.

Goodbye , and i really hope you bother changing.
Not cause i asked you to , cause you want to.
See the change in yourself and you`ll know.
Love ,
SharenCAUR!

2009-12-17T01:45:00.004+08:00

& yeah , it`s been 3 days since i got fired , and i`m happy about it .
Enough of waking up early :D

The amount of faces you have ; uncountable.

This said of love that it sometimes goes, sometimes flies ; runs with one , walks gravely with another ; turns a third into ice , and sets a fourth in a flame : it wounds one , another it kills : like lightning it begins and ends in the same moment : it makes that fort yield at night which it besieged but in the morning ; for there is no force able to resist it.
Never try to define love ; Once defined love is confined.
Once confined ; It dies.

I don`t know why the sudden randomness in this topic but it feels good to let everything out case the only way i can express my feelings are through words.
Though it seems complicating i know there are some who can understand these phrases.

Love is an emotion experienced by many and enjoyed by few.
How many times have you cheated my feelings? , how many times i`ve stayed up late at night not being able to sleep ?
Yes i may seem happy but that is just to show you guys i`m fine cause i`m in this alone , ii dont want anyone else to go down with me. I`m strong i know i am , it`s just i can show it when i`m alone. Its like i dont even make an effort to try when i`m alone , i let myself sit one side and cry , and then watch myself hurt again .
How many times must i watch myself getting judged for my past mistakes ?
Everyone beggs for second chances so why can`t i get mine too ? It`s an unfair game where i can never be the winner , and it`s so unfair.

You never noticed me , but you always notice the one who never cares.
You always ignore the ones who adore you and adore the ones who ignore you .
You complained and stated its time to love the ones who`ve always been there , i don`t see you following those words ? How about the amount of shit i`ve done while u were gg through ur misery ?
When you were in hospital ? , you never thought of that did you ? , didn`t think so .
Why would you even care ? You`ve got so many other friends , losing one also would never make a diffrence , but all i can say is , everything i did , no girl would ever do it for you , i was true , you couldn`t care less.

Going under ,
driving you , i`m falling forever ; got to breakthrough.
Go on and scream ; SharenCAUR!.
Nights.

2009-12-05T03:16:00.004+08:00

4TH FEB 1994 - 3RD DECEMBER 2009.
R.I.P my dear , i`ll never forget you , i miss you so so much and i cant belive i lost you.
You were my soni kuri , Whose gg to stand up for me now ? , When i heard Jag Soona Soona Lage just now , i started crying terribly cause my bby won`t be beside my saying my cousin sister ah this one , my cousin sister ! I`m slowly trying to absorb all of this , and and akshay consoled me , your hottie :D He had to hold me you know ? cause i was crying terribly for you , Darling where ever you are i`ll always love you.
I lost a friend , a very good friend whom i`ve known for 3 years and everything we have done together will remain a memory , it`s like i lost a piece of my heart when she passed on , i can`t belive that she left us all and went , though i know she is in a better place , i truly will miss her , Jessmyn i cried for you , you know ! SharenCAUR u noe ! cry , bby all the fun times we had , remember , how we were arguing whose date messed up hunk was for the day , how we used to fight in punjabi school with the sec 1-2`s all , hahaks , bby fun times la , how we would walk around punjabi school and end up getting in trouble with Mr.gill . I remember everything , the kisses and everything the huggs , how we would eat Nasi lemak together all , sit with the guys all , hahaks .
Baby , you looked very very beautiful today you know ? , It hurts to know you are gone darling , cause u were only 15 and i have never lost anyone in my life and it hurts alot that u had to be the first , i love you alot okay , don`t worry you`ll be fine okays , god will takecare of you , And and u noe , Taspal , Nichaal , Priya , Kiran , Oriana , Pooja , Shashu , Rishi , Randhir , Manveer , Pal singh, Harmesh , Me , Choti , Akshay, sonias , gurpreet , param , Amrit , Nadia we all miss you and love you so so much , Princess , darling , baby , laling , jaan , love .
You are my everything . (:
Iloveyou Jessmyn Dhillon , always.

2009-11-26T00:35:00.002+08:00

- your eyes , i`m over it , your smile , i`m over it.
Realized i`m over it.
Moving on it`s my time , you were never a friend of mine.

No matter how hard it gets , though the once in awhile break downs , i know one day this misery of mine will end , and when that day comes , it`ll be you who will be regretting .
Nothing lasts forever , even hurt , it`s meant to go away someday or another , It`s simply like the saying every dog has it`s day , my day will come to , and when my day comes , watch me shine !

2009-11-13T01:27:00.002+08:00

; Though everyday i go out with a smile and have proved everyone that i have changed and moved on in life , nothing has really changed at all .
I tried to move on and be happy by keeping myself occupied with work , but then when the nights i`m alone and just sitting down , the past comes back and haunt me , leaving me horrible nightmares to remind me that everything i had was real.

Our friendship.
The conversations , the sweet idiotic messages , the late night calls , the long calls we had , everythings gone now & the time when you recovered , u started calling back without even me calling , now that you are in this condition again , i doubt anything`s going to be the same again .
How much time do you possibly need? , how much time is this going to take ?
I know i`ll wait , i know i`ll never move away but i don`t know if you even care to stop and think how much concern i have for you. I don`t know if you will know that i`ll always be there.
You said you needed space , i`m giving u alot and it`s really killing me.

And i how i wish i could just pour out how i feel to you , but i know that i have convinced you that i have moved on in life , i proved to you that i became stronger. & I want you to think that i have changed , i`m tired of always giving in , but how do i tell you , i`m extremely broken apart , torn apart . I don`t want things to change again like how they did when u first found out about everything , i know you can get much prettier and all , but which girl would even treat u like this , u just don`t know how it feels. I may not be your type and all , but that does n`t matter , what matters is the amount of value i have put in , in this friendship .

You are something that i`ll never regret , and a chance would be more then enough.
You`ll never know unless you try yourself , but i know it`s impossible , cause you`ll never.

;I made a mistake of loving you.
I waited so long ; you showed me you were the one.
I gave u my heart from the very start.
I was hurting , i was broken i stayed too long & so that's why , didn`t think that i moved on.
It`s all because , i loved you , i held ya. - You`r not what i needed.
You left me a heartache , how much more could i take?

2009-10-19T10:54:00.002+08:00

I`m in Vancouver , Surrey , Canada.
And i am so missing Singapore so much , though this place i`m now at is really beautiful and nice , it`s too quiet for me to adapt here.
But i`m quite sure that dad`s going to make me migrate here to study .
It`s Very cold here , especially in the night .
Try going out barefooted , gosh it`s like a freezer i swear.
It`s like 8pm over here , and Singapore is 11am , it`s Monday for Singapore and Sunday for me.
I almost died during the Aeroplane journey.
I really miss fried food , my bed , my room , my laptop , MY PHONE ! and my friends that i slack with every dang day.
It`s going to be 2 weeks without all this and i have to really get all of this out of my mind to enjoy my holiday properly.
I`m just going to enjoy my life away from all the everyday drama that happens.
I`m missing you guys .
Loves ,
SharenCaur !

2009-10-14T19:40:00.003+08:00

Well alots has happened.
ALOT since i last updated.
School ended , N levels are Over ( thank god).
My wish Came true , to finally be friends with (:
New friends , New slacking people , and soon off to canada for two weeks.
Finally , i just want to get away from whatever that`s gg through now .
Ever since me and hamzah quit talking , everything`s diffrent , i hate it but i dont want to show that i`m going to be the one whose gonna beg to keep this friendship alive.
I really cannot be bothered already , whoever wants to stop talking , im fine with it.
Do it if i did something wrong , then i`ll be sorry , if you`r doing it for no shit reason , then i wont be bothered already. So yeah.
Been hanging out with , kat , pooja , their school friends , rajan , viinod , rakesh , shashu , manveer all for a week already.
I have a blast whenever i`m with them , they give me so much happiness and when i`m with them i can just be myself and they like me for who i am.
Well i really miss hannah , khai , faiz , izah , idah , madia damn badly.
hahaks , will meet soon.
Loves ,
Sharen Caur.

; Seems like just yesterday you were a part of me
i used to stand so tall , i used to be so strong.
Everything felt so right , like nothing could go wrong.
I`m torn into pieces .

2009-09-17T22:21:00.002+08:00

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Gamebrudders is the cheapest game website you can ever find !
No jokes , this is serious ! (:
Pay them a visit to check out what they have in store for you.

2009-08-30T01:15:00.003+08:00

I tried listening for once , and decided to give paying attention and doing work in mother tongue class a chance and what happens ? , i get looked down upon , i get sarcastic remarks , cold treatment and insulted.
This is one reason why i dont`t bother studying during punjabi school . I know many look down on me , and i really cannot be bothered to prove myself anymore , i have given up on everything.
I don`t want to leave this country , i just wanna run away now .
How much can a 16 year old take ? , how many times am i going to keep breaking down ? , How long will i have to keep crying to finally be happy. I wish i was a kid again , everything was great back then , Mom and Dad treated me awesome , and now .. It`s like i`m alone , they don`t understand me , infact not many people do , and when we don`t tell them whats with us , they say we don`t make an effort to be close , what for ? , when all you going to do is ignore my feelings and just lecture me ?

Hamzah got in a bike accident , it`s been almost a month and i don`t know how he is and what`s going on with him , i only heard his voice once after the accident , telling him to call me or txt me , but it`s like he`s in his own life , he was my most reliable source when i am down , he`d always say the right thing and he`d end up making me laugh by the stupid things he do.
Gurjeet is also another one , whenever i am down , he is always there for me , whenever i cry , i call him and he always make me spill out all my feelings , he gives the best advices for me to smile and then talk to him about normal stuff.
Then there`s Ravinder , while i am crying he can make me laugh and make me cry back again.
He irritates me almost everyday but he`s really a true buddy , he`s sweet , nice , and idiotic.
I seldom see him down , he`s always hyper or high . mad fella.

These are the people whom i really don`t wanna leave and migrate .
Who will be my shoulder ? , who`d listen to my problems when i`m down .
I hope they sign the starhub global thing like how simi did , then it`d be like singapore calling singapore but only thing i`ll be in canada , free somemore ! (:

I was a emotional wreck today , i so broke down , and let my emotions take control of me.
Well , yeah i feel better now .
Thanks , ravinder , gurjeet (:
Goodnights.

Love ,
SharenCAUR.

; Don`t try to explain your mind i know what`s happening here.
One minute it`s love and suddenly it`s like a battlefield.
Why isit the smallest thing that brings us down.
These times when we climb so fast to fall again .
I guess you better go and get your armor.
I`m not here without a shield , can`t go back - now.

2009-08-24T21:03:00.002+08:00

There`s two things in my mind that i am stressed up about .
First , N levels are nearing , and so are my days to migrating to Canada.
I seriously don`t wish to go , but i have no choice , sometimes family knows whats best for you , and even if they don`t , they`ll always be by your side . Friends can be found anywhere , but family can never be found or replaced by any tom dick or harry.
That leads to my best-est friends Hannah and khai (:
I know i said friends can be made anywhere , but friends like you both , i will never replace.
Best Friends don`t stop being best friends just cause we are far apart , it stays with us in our hearts no matter where we go.
I`ll miss my 2 angels.
Yeah , there are many other people i would love to mention there`s faiz , idah , izah , jaggu , kiran , manveer , nikki , pamela , priya , taspal , nichaal , fiona , madia , jaggu ,etc.
I`ll miss all my friends , and enemies . I`ll get new ones in Canada also , except they`ll be more bitchier .
There`s mother tongue class tomorrow , 6-9 i doubt i`ll be going .

Well thats all .
Nights ,
sharen (:

I always needed time on my own ;
i never thought i`d need you there when i cried.
When you walk away ; i count the steps that you take.
When you`re gone , the pieces of my heart is missing you.

2009-08-22T22:46:00.002+08:00

Yeaps , Prelims are finally over and think i am going to fail , god the exams were hard.
I am just going to chiong for my N level , i mean if i make it , i make it , if i dont , i cant do anything .
It`s all part and parcel of life (:
So yeap , had punjabi school today .. 1 month di , i havent even bought the books.
HAHA , there is gonna be like extra classes also . SIGHS.
Yeah , then the usual nonsense in class , the talking , using phone [ sending songs , etc] , the irritating our teacher. Then after recess Jaspreet , Ravinder and me were telling ghost stories.
Ravinder irritated me today . =( JACKKKKASS (:
Then went home , watched tv the entire time , then now at my cousin`s place .
siggghs.

Movie`s that i have watched.
- Love aaj kaal.
- Kambaq Ishq. - Must watch.!
- Luck - Must Watch!

Movies that i am planning to watch sooon.
- FINAL DESTINATION. !!!!!!!
- J.I Joe.
- The proposal.
- The orphan.

Yeaps , that`s all for todaay !
Loves ,
SharenCAUR!

So leave it behind ; cause we have a night to get away.
So come on and fly with me as we make our great escape ; so why dont we run away?
You`ll be my only , baby don`t have to worry .
She aint not miss america.
- Down JaySean Ft Lil Wayne.

Don`t forget to remember me.
Keep me in your heart if we were to ever part.
Here`s to your memory loss , suckka.
I don`t mean to feel like this ; Don`t mean to think like this.
My heart has to be shown ;
that the love that i give to you ; that the love i get from you.
I need to be safe and secure.

2009-08-13T10:54:00.002+08:00

Prelims have officially started.
There is no school today , mother tongue paper and i have to study for tomorrow`s SocialStudies and maths paper 1. Gosh , going to have tution soon , neverminds gotta suffer then can enjoy!
Yesterday was english , we had to sit in the hall , like how ppl do for their N and O lvls , it was really scary , sighs.
I wanna paaaass ! do my o levels then get away from this dang country.
I wanna go away and start a new life ; and when i come back no one will recognize me. (:

Aites , imma go study now !
I`m going to be like before , no more texting , calling or be hurt for no shit.
Sharen caur`s back to herself (:

Byyes!
Money music to my ears ; do re me.

2009-08-05T19:24:00.003+08:00

5TH AUG 2009.
WEDNESDAY.

UPDATES !
hahas , well i met anand raj today , at sembawang . ( like finally) .
Yeah we had lodsa fun , i dont know about him but i sure did have the time of my life bullying him.
Yeap ! I pinched him , i bit him , i smacked him , i scratched him , he still has the marks !
hahaks aww , i feel bad now actually , i`m so mean.
But it was not my fault , he was being stubborn ( he knows why). Yeah then i found his psp !
I played BURNOUT with it , eh after long time sia i play that game , and i came in second ! I was first then my car crashed and all . Then anand got irritated with some guys who were making alot of noise with the moterbike , kinda was irritating . Hahas , then we started talking about our own lifes and past experinces , and about what happened in school and stuff.
Then half-way this man came up to us and said this to anand " bang , sorry ah but my friends coming here ah , got important meeting , i dont want you all to get influenced" then we were like oh okay , then we changed block , i started laughing , we were already corrupted ppl , so yeah.
Then we lepak until 6 , then we left . He sent me off till the mrt station we hugged goodbye and we went home (: Anand said i looked tired? i dont know i feel tired.
HAHA.

Kays luh that`s about it .
Gooooodnights !

& u make me happy (:"

2009-08-03T21:18:00.002+08:00

9:37PM , 3RD AUG 2009.

The world is full of hates , even then heats will desire
Even if they die , get wiped out , the ones who love
Their love (story) will stay alive .
- Mohabbatein , Zinda rehti hain un ki mohabbatein.

Mar bi jayen pyaar wale , mit bi jayen pyaarwalen
Zinda rehti hain unki mahabbatein

I`ve been singing this song the whole day ( the hindi version) , hahaks , totally in love with it .
Faiz ace my singing partner , even though he`s malay , he sings awesome hindi songs.

I PASSED MY PUNJABI N LEVEL PRELIM EXAM.

i didn`t get fantastic marks , but i could hardly do the paper with my bloody cramps.
So i`m extremely happy (:

Nighttts !

2009-07-29T20:09:00.003+08:00

8:14pm , 29th july 2009.

The feeling really hurts .

I canceled every plan i had today just to go somewhere after school , I made my whole day free.
In the end , it was of no use , the person whom i had canceled everything for , canceled on me.
& the best thing was the person canceled on me when i was already on my way to sembawang.
Maybe it was because i asked a friend along ? , the person called last minute and canceled , i was totally of mood after that , me and idah went to sembawang to meet her friend. After awhile we left , went back home . I met pamela and i was totally hurt and disturbed.
It`s not i care that i got stood up or basted , it`s the person who did it .
I don`t know why you did it , but you can keep it .
I thought you were different , i thought u would never hurt me , but thank you (:

Thanks A.pal ( did not forget you) , for being there , you are such a darling.
hahaks , partner in crime.
Yeaps , that`s all .
Goodnights.

& guess it`s back to my old days.

2009-07-28T09:23:00.002+08:00

28th july 2009.
9:30am.

It`s really good to hear your voice , saying my name it sounds so sweet ;
coming for an lips of an angel , hearing those words it makes me weak.
And i never want to say goodbye but boy you make it hard to be faithful ; with a lips of an angel.

Meows !
Back to blogging , i am in fnn class ( as usual) , hahas bored . Everyone`s doing their coursework.
I am like doing my own thing , was looking at bitchy quotes and everything. Here`s one i liked ;
I am not anti social , i just dont like you, (: .
Free period is next , First period was mr.shahari , wth , answer question also never layan .
Like for once i start to answer and no one wants to support , i give up , very irritating.

Khairul and Hannah are on the same table , hannah is on twitter ( idk how to use even though i also have) , khairul is writting his name on his coursework , on every page.
HAHA.

Anand raj , is an idiot cause he was suppose to call me at 10:30 but one hour later then he called , but i already fell asleep ( very tired , he knows) .
Not planning on going remedial today , so i guess will be going home early today ?
hahas , goodgirl sharen , Punjabi prelim is this saturday , i am abit scared but i have confidence in myself , yaaay me (:

Aites i am done for today.
I have updated yay !

2009-07-10T21:34:00.000+08:00

10:03 PM , 10TH JULY 2009.

A thousand words,
But none were spoken.
Guess there's nothing left to say.
Another thing just broken.
I guess things just turn out that way.

My hands shake because today
I know you're gonna break my heart,
& my life without you in it
Is a life that's not worth living.
I'll be strong, but I wish I was someone else
Anyone but me tonight.

I'll stand in the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
This time I'll be alright
My heart can't get any worse

I hope you choke on every word you spoke when you were screaming at me
And realize how many times I've tried, but that's wishful thinking
All I want is an apology for what you did and how you treated me
Get me far away, or at least as far as this car will take me

And I can`t deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all.

My feelings are like how the above post is.

i should stop
fessing about the past and start living everyday like there is no tomorrow. Kya pata , khal ho na ho. Haiya , i`m like a emoshit lah .

Jordan got suspended because he and firdaus fought , it isnt even jordan`s fault. Aww jordan , hope you`ll join us soon , and dont fight anymore la ! See , when i was with you guys , i stopped you all from killing each other , as soon as you all went for mother tongue class , you started your nonsense . Jordan , NEXT TIME LISTEN TO ME ! and dont give me your idiotic heh face. (:

I aaam really proud of khai ! , he has started to atleast study abit , oh and we got our class t-shirts tday , pink! , nice uh. There is punjabi school tomorrow , ppl you all better come.

Nights.

With that , i am off.

goodbye.

I never thought we would get this close ; but now that we are you`r as sweet as a rose.

He has always been a very good friend ; i will never want to do anything to offend.

He always puts a smile on my face ; if there`s something i love ; it`s his grace.

Anand raj is his name ; i will never forget the day he came (:

2009-07-08T21:37:00.000+08:00

10:05PM , JULY 8 2009.
Wednesday.

Michael Jackson.
1958-2009.
I know everyone is like oh , i miss you , oh i am so sad , why did you have to go , they are very sad for the loss of Michael jackson , even i am but when he was alive , Mostly everyone criticized him , I admit i`m not the biggest of his fans or anything , but watching him get insulted and accused of being something he is not was really hurtful , and yet there are some people who say i miss you and all when they were insulting him when he was alive . I know why bother ? ; but it is really irritating that a person is only appreciated when they are gone , I hate it.
In any case , Rest in peace michael jackson , you were really awesome ; and i mean it (:
Michael Jackson Favourite song - smile. ( Sang by Charlie chaplin).

Smile

tho'
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

Alright back to sharen`s life.
I am itching alot , i pray hard that pam didn`t spread her rashes to me , having rashes is extremely irritating , haks if i have rashes guess she and i can go see the doctor together
HAHA. Yeah so brother came home he asked me to buy him coke -.-
Go all the way to the shop to buy COKE ! . This time he emphasised and said i want the big bottle ah sharen, BIG BOTTLE not the can ( cause the last time i bought can instead) , so i called pam , ask her follow me . Brother gave 5 dollars , 2 dollar coke , 1.50 KINDERBUENO ! i used his money for my needs :P I went home , went to the toilet to wash my leg , i came out and my brother had already opened my chocolate packet =(
haks , i studied maths and physics today.
I think my physics class is the bomb luh , all the havocs in one class.
Wonder who will go remedial , i aint going this friday , got tution (:

& i wanted to say , sorry anand for the stupid msg i sent you.
tssk , haks yeah !
With that said , goodnights !

; No matter what you say about love , i keep coming back for more.
Keep my hand in the fire sooner or later i get what i`m asking for.
No matter what you say about life , i learn everytime i bleed.
The truth is a stranger , soul is in danger ; i gotta let my spirit be free to admit that i`m wrong
and then change my mind. Sorry but i have to move on and leave you behind.
i loved you once ; needed protection , you`r still a part of everything i do
& you`r on my heart just like a tatoo.

Now you`r the first to know.

2009-07-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

10.52 pm , 7th july 2009.

Alright so stayed back in school for Maths Mock exam , totally difficult.
Get ready to fail sharen.
Sighs , i have totally slacked off again , i really need to continue studying , tuition is not enough .
Okay , i sound totally geeky and like a nerd -.-
Nevermind , 2 months be nerd is okay ! hahaks.
So yeah , got back home at 4.30 put my back and went down to meet paam !
Slacked with her for awhile , then made fun of some people ( haha) , then she came over , after that jas also came over to my place , brother came home and he disturbed them like usual . They then followed me sheng shion (:
Pam didnt cause she had rashes and wanted to go doctor , in the end she also never go , TSK !
jas stayed at my place till 8pm , she and my brother were talking crap , bitching ( tsk ! ) , i was like walking around the house , calling mom and dad asking where they were.
Dad went out , he still isn`t back , the working life seems so easy , after work , just go out.
Mom also. Sighs , i want to get this N lvls done and over with , after that it`s canada !
Tsk , i just finished doing my FNN coursework which is due tomorrow , so last minute i know !
I`m totally shagged luh .
Btw , C is for cookie caur (:
Aite , with that said.
Bye , nights (:

; and all the wants & and all the needs , all i don`t want to need at all.
Maybe it`s best you leave me alone , a weight is lifted on this evening , i give the final blow.
Now you`r the first to know ;
When darkness turns to light , it ends tonight.

2009-07-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

9:18pm , july 6th 2009.

Heyya , i`m back to updating every day , cause people get bored reading my old posts over and over again. Hahks , so i didn`t go tution today , i was sick , sleeping in bed.
i was online till 5 plus am ? , yeah slept till 2pm . ahhas. Daddy was suppose to come home and bring me doctor , but he did not ! Had to go doctor with my maid , haks.
Doctor said , sharen dont walk and talk so much okay , later have problems breathing again.
Hahas , i am really tired.

Many say they see pain in my posts. Is my life really that bad?
gosh , i sound so emo. I`m only 16 and i`m talking about all this , tssk.
I have to start being happy.
Anyways , anand its really nice having you around.
You have been an awesome friend , thanks for all the advices you have given me (:
Don`t worry , i wont ditch a friend like you , haha not my style.
It`s hard to say thanks alone cause you`r advices have really helped me.
hahas, tssk ! i`m going to put up my elmo picture. Hahas, oh and people if you wanna see who anand is ?; too bad ! i wont put his picture up.
To a new friendship anand ; cheers (:
You`r the best ELMO (:
LAN KACHANG , harhar.
Goodnight all !
Guess i`m going school tomorrow, SIGHS. GOT MC SIOLX.

& I`ll be better off this way ; i know i will.
You said you`d never leave , you said many things in the past , but you never ever kept to one of them.
say something nice , say something sweet but don`t say you loved me ; cause i`m still breathing.

i leave the gas on walk the allies in the dark .

2009-07-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

10.34pm.
Sunday , 5th julyy 2009.

There is no school tomorrow , yaay .
Thank youth day , Maybe even if there was school i wouldnt be going also.
I`m sick , again . This is the first time it`s very bad , even the inhaler isnt helping .
It`s very hard to breathe , i can hear myself breathing , the wheezing sound . I keep coughing , do you know what its like to be in this condition ? It sucks aite , so freaking hard to breathe , i feel uncomfortable , no medicine seems to be helping also.
Gosh , had maath tution today , Tomorrow will be waking up , going to the doctor with daddy , then go for punjabi tution , then in the night go cut hair (:

If you were to walk into my heart one day

you would surely cry, cause you`d see a heart filled with you only.

And so will i cry when i walk into your heart..

Cause i can`t even see a trace of me left behind.

Goodnight.

With love,

sharen caur.

2009-07-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

8.38 July 4th 2009.
My last post was in anger , alot has been happening .
I don`t wish to say what .
To gain something , you must lose something.
I gained something after loosing something , but i now lost what i gained and really hate it.

I hate going through all this stuff.
Gone through it so many times and yet i`m still so weak.
They say you`ll become stronger after getting hurt.
I got hurt too many times and i`m still weak.

On the happy note ,
i`m really proud of myself.
i`m paying attention in classes.
I did all my maths homework and handed it in.
I answer questions in mr.lee`s class.
i`ve made a time table on when i`m studying.
i`ve been occupying myself with tutions on my free days.
HAHA. guess i rlly need to prove people i can do it.
Sighs , it`s gonna be hard.

Save me , someone.

If only it was easy to forget and move on from everything that has been happening.
I admit it`s my fault , but if i can take the blame why can`t you?
It`s not entirely my fault and i`m sure you know that too.
One day , i`ll rise . i`ll be strong , and when i look back , i`d realize what a fool i was.
For now , i have never regretted knowing you , never did and never will .
You`ll always be a dear one to me , no matter how rude your words are ; i know you do care.
Even though u are busy ; you do care , i know you do.
You always push the ones who love you away afraid you`d fall for em.
Don`t be afraid ; cause i ain`t leaving. But i don`t know how to come back already.
After telling you off , if i return you`d be thinking hah , i knew she couldn`t last.
I want to show u i can, and you mean nothing. Putting up a fake smile will be hard ; but i have to do it.
To show you , that atleast one girl is diffrent. Poems after poems , it`s the only way i can express my feelings.
Hahks , Guess you can`t bother also.
Your busy life is more important to you.
But one day , you`ll be sorry that i`m no longer around.
Here`s something i wrote ;

All i ever wanted

was for you to look at me.

by the eye , and not whoever i am outside.

i hope it wasn't the looks,

nor that content of my purse.

i hope it was really me you wanted;

its you i need in my life

and i don't want you to go.

i can't live without you

and that i really need a you to stay by me.

I'm sorry I'm just demanding so much,

but really ; i need you.

the imperfections , healed with you.

Another one ;

late at night

i dreamt that you took my hand

and held it tight.

we walked by the beach

with the tides up high

hoping the sun will never rise.

Everything went well

till suddenly it became like hell

you told me all the lies

and saw the tears

that filled up my eyes

you broke my heart

Without a second glance

made my life so meaningless

but i'll nvr forget

the time we used to have

when you were my everything

when i realized it's all just a fantasy

i stopped thinking about you and me.

when things go wrong

i have to be strong

not going to wallow in self pity

I am going to be strong

It`s the only thing left to do , and the only thing I can do.

And the last ;

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.

The right song for me now ;
Enjoy.

INA - FALL.

I gave you all you desired
All that you needed
Boy, I provided
I let you into my head
Into my bed
And that's a privilege
I had your back at the answers
You took the dollars
I took the chances
Defended, battled and fought
Cuz I thought you really loved me
I don't know where to start or where to stop
No, but I know I am done
I've had enough

So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I'll be on the top just watching you fall

You said that you were the strong one
I was the girl
And I was the young one
I kept your feet on the ground
My head in the rounds I had you
You told me you were so grateful
I was with you
And I was so faithful
Stood by in all that you said
And all that you did
I loved you
I don't know how to act or what to say
But I know I am good
I'll be okay

And you fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
I'll be on the top just watching you fall

So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
I'll be on the top just watching you fall.

2009-06-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Why the fcuk should i post about my feelings ;
does anyone care? , all people do after reading
someone else`s blog is bitch about them.
Get a serious life dudex.

12 june 2009.

2009-06-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

10TH JUNE.
10:03pm .

& IT`S OH SO UNIMAGINABLE.

Finally it`s all over . The hardest thing was last night , the sudden break down.
I thought i was fine , i was being all strong , laughing the whole day , then it just happened.
I wasn`t strong at all , i was weak , i was very weak. I let words get to me , that`s my stupid weakness , i`ve been trying to overcome this stupidity but it`s very hard.

Everything is healed in time , how long does this has to take ?
I don`t want everything to slowly fade away ; it sucks , just poof away like instantly and never come back.

Many say i can stand up for my rights , i have no problems , i seem so happy go lucky , fuck its not even through , i`m just like everyone , ordinary , at times i even face more shit then normal people , so dont ever think my life rocks alright.
2 days , no call , no texts and u say u bother, fuck u la , i know whats best for me okaay .
Loser , don`t teach me what`s wrong and right , i know more then you do , what do you have to teach me eh ? , You don`t even listen to your own dad and you want to listen to me? haha , you cracking joke ah ?!

For you and your bunch of friends ; love is just your late night entertainment. haks , something intresting on msn jst happened , loser. eww la. hahahaks , thanks priya and taspal for helping me out ! KHAIRUL , you gave me a shock when you rang me up , but see i`m such a good friend i rmbered your voice. hahaks ,funny la you . i`m not really feeling good .
imma just logg off.
Byes.

2009-06-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

Kisses are like raindrops,
such soft and gentle things.
Falling in a puddle of love,
making little golden rings.

The clear night sky is loneliness,
calling out to me.
Though I shall not succumb to it,
it shall come to me.

The sound of hatred fills the world,
It cuts like broken glass.
I wait for peace to come instead,
and take me home at last.

In my dream your waiting there,
your arms open wide.
I long to be there in your arms,
Safe and warm inside

So when the rain begins to fall,
and clouds are dark and gray,
Fill your heart with lasting love,
And I will come to stay.

Here's a special trick I know
When I'm sad and scared to go.
Take my hand and kiss it here.
This kiss from you, I will hold dear.
Down my a hand and up my arm,
Into my heart the kiss goes on.

Kisses kept are wasted;
Love is to be tasted.
There are some you love, I know;
Be not loathe to tell them so.
Lips go dry and eyes grow wet
Waiting to be warmly met.
Keep them not in waiting yet;
Kisses kept are wasted.

JUNE 8TH , 2009 . 8:56 pm.

Sweet ain`t it , yeah.
Stupid hamzah , irritating me with his stupid theories.
But yeah it was fun mad.
i`m watching kath kim , it`s darn funny , the song to start the show , totally over exxaurating.
Hot ! I`m craving for pancakes gosh , macdonalds big breakfast.
the pancake , the honey ahhhhhh !
Thursday imma be eatin it (:
I`m sick , down with a cough , flu and fever , won`t be going school tomorrow
i really want to go =(
& the worst thing is , if you go to see a doctor , they might suspect you have swine flu and send you to the hospital , so irritating.
I`m hungry , okay imma go eaaaaat. =)

2009-06-08T02:25:00.001+08:00

He`s improving , he`s starting to make an effort to become close friends like last time.
Hoorayy hamzah ! He`s starting to call back , text back ( a little) , it`s good to have you back buddy ! Atleast now you don`t have to be a sad ol memory , you`ll be back to share those memories with me , Haks , just ended the phone with him , somethings you said which i won`t be able to forget.
Like how '' whenever i talk about .... you become so mood out''. No ! i don`t know , it`s just that person is useless and is always hurting you. Haks.

"you got me thinking , oh nvm .. later paiseh"
"just tell la"
" wonder if you`ll ever care for me the same way as you care for that person"
silence ..................
"you expecting an answer"
"not really , i know you can`t give one"
"i`m really sorry , i can`t answer that".
Haks , all the things deserved for being such a good friend.

Text me , yeah right.
You will get a replyyy .
yeah i`m sure.
have faith in someone you love.
yeah look where that has brought me , HAHAHA !

I like this post , so jumbled out no one can understand what i`m blabbering about , oh well , it`s my blog , only i will know what is what . Oh and khai : i`m sorry for what happened , you`r fine right?
Yes , me and hans miss you truck looads.

Kay , About yesterday , went adam road for lunch , Nasi lemak , very nice.
The private houses at adam road are beautiful , so big , just so nice alright.
Gosh , i so want that kind of house. So after adam road , headed over to ang mo kio , first went to the library , parents were borrowing books , i can`t even think of borrowing books now as exams coming , need to muuuuug !! , so after that went courts , parents couldn`t find what they wanted. HAHA, told them to drop me home first , then they went to tampanies , went down to meet pamelaaa ! , played cards , did stupid usual stuff under the block then went home, haks , watched night at the museum , blahs. I have tution tomorrow , maths. Thank god it`s at 1pm , i cooked dinner today ! Fried rice , with chicken nuggets ! It tasted wonderful.
Someone didn`t bother calling at all today , guess they were out having too much fun , i seriously cannot be bothered anymore.
Imma be strong with or without you by my side ; fcuk off.

MONDAY , JUNE 8TH 2009.

2009-06-06T19:11:00.000+08:00

7.21 PM , SATURDAY.
June 6th.

yeah who cares that it`s my second post ?

Looking through those old msn convos.
All those diary posts about you.
Thinking back , all our phone convo`s they were so , diffrent.
Gosh , we were so diffrent back then , it sucks that everything has changed.
Yes , i know though sometimes we are still like last time , i still miss those fun ass times.
Our randomness , your idioticness , our pissing off each other over stupid things.
It`s been awesome to have a close friend like you, yes yes you tell me everything , stupid dickhead ! hahaks , i miss ya loooooser !
I know there are times where i hate you ; cause i can`t erase the times that you`ve hurt me and put tears on my face.
I still know i`ll be there at the end of day.
i`ve never said anything cause i`ve been afraid that you`ll walk away ; but now i`m happy to say that i`ll be there at the end of the day.

Okays, moving on , was it wrong typing down those things i said yesterday ? I don`t think i did the wrong thing. Khairul , i`m so sorry for not attending the bbq , i was really occupied with tutions and stuff , i `m so sorry , i`ll make it up to you alright !
sorry bestie , i`ll ajak you roti ! hahaks !
Hannah , i wanted to say , you`ve been really awesome ! You`ve been there for me at my worst and also at my best , i love you. Knowing you is something i`ll never regret, girl you make my daaay ! AND AND AND , i love it when you are irritated and pissed off , you look sooo cute.
hahaks , my little ass (:
Love you.

It`s hard trying to be understanding with you , but i`m trying my very best , i`m putting in every effort , are you even trying ?
Hopefully , i`m falling to pieces , gosh what do i do about it !
Break even.
Loves ,
sharen caur.
xoxo. Not saying it`s your fault ; though u could have done more.

2009-06-06T01:54:00.000+08:00

6th June 2009.
2:32 Am.

& she suffers in silence.
No one knows , no one should ever know.

Forbidden to remember ; terrified to forget.

They say , people who make you cry aren`t needed in your life.
But does anyone ever stop and think for one moment , the ones most precious to you are mostly putting those tears on your face? In this post i`m not going to mention names or say who this people are to me.
When one sacrifices so much just to please you , to see a smile on your face why can`t you do the same for that person? You always thing that the other person is so unreasonable and you just continue doing things your way. That certain individual doesn`t want to lose you , that individual treasures you. You are so lucky to have someone to care for you , why can`t you appreciate it? Heartless ; you disgust me.

That individual goes out every morning and afternoon , she never says anything knowing you have your probation and you need to meet your friends and all she gives you so much space , but even then you never call her even after knowing that when you go back home at night you won`t be able to call her. And when the days you can call her at night , you tell her you are tired and exhausted. You leave her waiting for nothing , but she tells you with a smile , it`s alright , head on to bed when actually she`s crying and breaking inside. Even after you have slept , that individual still waits the whole night just making sure he/she doesn`t miss your call , that individual wants to be awake to hear you , to talk to you , to make you happy , to listen to your every problem. He/she knows you would never call after you have gone to bed , but yet he/she stays awake to wait. She`s not angry that you can`t call cause you are tired or exhausted , but you go out unneccisary and that`s what makes u too tired and exhausted to talk to that individual. She does not blame you for being tired and exhausted , she`s just trying to explain stuff to you which you will never ever understand.

She has never shown you she`s hurt or gotten affected by your words , she`s always put the matter aside just to continue seeing you smile , shouldn`t it be the other way round? You are so messed up , fix yourself up before one day , that individual whom you are now hurting will have enough courage to just walk away and never return. That day wouldn`t be her lost , it`ll be .... yours. Right now this is just a game for you. To you she`s just another girl , but in reality she ain`t , to her you are just another guy in her life , so watch yourself .
Hurt her ? ; she`ll hurt you twice as bad. Bitch about her ; she`ll laugh it out at your face , mess with her ; she`ll tell you , you ain`t no match for her . Her attitudes a one hell of a kind.

I feel really deeply for the person you are hurting , so leave the person alone.
Ever heard of karma? , When it comes back , it`s gonna hit you twice as hard and you will have no clue what hit you.

Okayy now to bloooog !
To those crazy arse bitches/sluts who destest me.
Ugliness doesn`t start with an ''i'' it starts with a ''u'' , so thanks for entertaining me by calling yourself ulgy , clowns. Okay , that was so random.
Finally i managed to put down all my thoughts , it felt so crap to just keep everything inside of you , now that iv`e typed it all down , i feel way much better. I hope the person will read this post , and after reading the post i hope they have realised what they have done.
School holidays aren`t really holidays for the n levels and o levels students.
so screwed. There are classes on the 3rd and 4th week , it`s a must to go , and i`m really proud of myself, i finally got maths and physics tution , and i have started revising on my maths and chem , and i`ve been progressing , i really hope to keep this up , after my n`s i`m so gonna enjoy, just have to suffer now but i`ll be fine after that. YAYY!

Tuje yaad na merii aiyee , dil royahh keh aakh baar aiyyyie.
Tu neh mereh saath ekk khed khedi hai . Tum terpaoohhgeh , tum peshtaungehh .
tujeh dhun rehi taah mein ; dil roya hei rahi , tu aja meri maahi.
tu hi hai meri dil keh temenah ; teri hi yaadein har lamhaa.

2009-05-22T09:24:00.000+08:00

I WANTED - INA.

This song goes out to someone who once just crushed every last hope i had left.

This person is now my very good friend ; but sorry , those times really hurt.

You should know who you are . haks !

Lately I've been thinking 'bout wat i can do

I've been stressing to fall back in love with you

I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through

But I can't go on this wayI've got to stop it babe

You've been wonderful in all that you can be

But it hurts when you say that you understand me

So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I,

II wanted you to be there when I fall

I wanted you to see me through it all

I wanted you to be the one I love

I wanted you, I wanted you

I wanted you to hold me in my sleep

I wanted you to show me what I need

I wanted you to know just how down deep

I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door

Trying to take us back to where we were before

But I'm done I just can't do this anymore

Cause we can't be mended

So let's stop pretending now

We've been walking round in circles for some time

And I think we should head for the finish line

So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I,

II wanted you to be there when I fall

I wanted you to see me through it all

I wanted you to be the one I love

I wanted you, I wanted you

I wanted you to hold me in my sleep

I wanted you to show me what I need

I wanted you to know just how down deepI wanted you,

I wanted you, yeahI,

I I'm so sorry baby butI,

I I've got to pack up and leave butI,

I'll always remember how we came close to be

And what I wanted to beI wanted you baby

YeahhI wanted youI wanted, I wanted you

I wanted you to be there when I fall (I wanted you to be there, yeahhh)

I wanted you to see me through it allI wanted you to be the one I love (Ooh ooh)

I wanted you, I wanted you (I wanted you oh)

I wanted you to hold me in my sleep

I wanted you to show me what I need (I wanted you to know me just how down deep yeah)

I wanted you to know just how down deep (I wanted you to know just how)I wanted you, I wanted youI wanted youI.. I wanted you, I wanted you

22th may 2009.

9:31am.

Fnn class (:

2009-05-18T13:01:00.000+08:00

18 MAY 2009.
MONDAY , 1:08PM !
School , com lab. Fnn (:

Kayyy .
back to bloggeeh !
i`m in school now ,it`s raining darn heavily , and i`m dead bored.
last period of the day , remedial has been cancelled , yaynees.
mr.ong is in a good mood today ? haks , he`s been joking around with the fnn students.
hannah is being a sweet whore (:
hakiim said sharen u rock to the sharen core for once.
Shafiq`s botak and i hate it !
nvm , his hair will grow soon. Suppose to meet ruby later , no idea where she is , guess she`s still sleeeping. Back to lepaking with my 2 darlings ! azrie and idah ! yeayea.
School ends like next week i think ? , wah long way !
then not enough , 2 weeks after june holiday must return to school for extra lessons.
I love my 3 sexahs who always make me laugh during fnn. Khai , hans and faiz (:
Even though me and khai always quarell at the end of the day we are still there for each other , with muchhh loves.
forever be besties k khai and hans?
faiz is the cutest luh , his jokes , simply him ! he`s nice lidat , dancing dont know what also.
Khai , i`ll bring roti (:
Hannah ! my whore ,i love you ok . no matter what i say to you , you know i`ll screw the person who hurts you.
love yah besties !
(:
Hamzah also , my cool arse bestie !
nichaal and priya bestest sis ! (:
love love.
caur (:

2009-05-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

So haven`t blogged lately.
Currently having mid years - prelim 1.
Been studying , just only started . ahh ! Stupid me , need to really study damn hard.
Maths is seriously a killer , dont understand anything at all . Dad`s helping me , but it`s gonna be hard learning from him .
Yeah , had our English paper on Wednesday , it was alright able to do it . Thursday didn`t have school for me , yayy ! advantages of being Punjabi ! Friday also no school , labor day. Long weekend for me again ballz.

Well now for my useless emotional life.

It`s been so long and i still can`t forget a single thing.
Why isit so hard to just let go? You still live inside of me , the only one i love not to forgive.
The times you`ve put tears on my face , i always took you back at the end of the day.
I don`t know how to be strong anymore , i don`t know how to hold back these tears anymore.
I just want to let them all out , but nothing ever seems to come out , nothing seems right anymore ever since that day. Whenever i`m down , i hear you , everything seems alright again , why can`t i remain this strong without you , what have you done to me? What have i ever done to deserve this. Too many tears ; too many lies ; too many barriers.

Heamen - i know you want to be there , i know u want to show your care , but seriously stop.
You`r only gonna make tings way harder for me . Well its alrdy maximum limit hard now ,but no choice. I can`t wait any longer , i ain`t getting any stronger. There`s a time for giving up , didn`t want to say it.
It`s our last final good night ; just because it feels good there`s no use pretending.
Waiting always ,
alittle too long , you`ll realize one day a little too late.
With love ,
sharen caur.

2ND MAY 2009.
1.27AM.

2009-04-03T09:18:00.000+08:00

How do you sleep - jesse mccartney. (:
It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Tried my best at movin' on
Have yet to find a girl like you
See things now I didn't before
Now wishin' I had more time with you

How do you stay awake
Knowin' all I do is think of you
All the things we fought about
Then never will happen again
If I could just see you

If I had my way come and getcha girl
In your favourite car with the missing top
Remember 'round my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Baby all that I hear from my friends
Again again and again compliments 'bout you
They say we saw your girl at the game
And damn we gotta say a big mistake by you

Not only did your body bang
But I miss the conversation too
Tell me that you're gettin' no sleep
Can't think can't eat till I come see you

If I had my way come and getcha girl
In your favourite car with the missing top
Remember 'round my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh

Dedicated to someone out there , you know who u are.
Thanks for all the times.
Damn those sweet memories.
imy. anyways , you`r back , and you said u weren`t leaving again , hope you stick to it.
I don`t want those false promises no more.
I`m in school now , fnn classs.
aite gtg (:
Byes, loves (:
3 APRIL 2009.
9.22AM.

2009-03-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

Updaaaaaating .
Kays so friday was okays , ended school then went hougang.
Had fun abit then went back home, i finally have a maid again !
1 month without a maid has been a headache -.-
So saturday went mother tongue school then went out after that.
Came back around 8pm? eaaarly :P , was at cousins place for awhile aftr tht , then they came over.
I was glued to the laptop all the way , couldn`t bother entertaining anyone.
Waited for someone`s call , but they never bothered to .
Still waitin actually , sighs . forget it.
Khai - sorry uh , lazy to conference :P
not really in the mood i guess.
Back to school tomorrow , sighs !
there is fnn coursework remedial tomorrow , gosh.
I need to start hiring tutors , like seriously.
That`s all for today ,
i have updated.
Bye readers !
9.25 PM , SUNDAY 29 MARCH 2009.

2009-03-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
He`s my good friend.
Do you ever turn your cellphone off?
Nopes , only when it gets confiscated . =x
What happened at 10.00am today?
I was sleeping?
When do you last cry?
I think saturday.
What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Err bread? BEST IS TO EAT RAW !!
What do you want in your life right now?
For me to just pass my N lvls.
Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put out your hood?
I do none?
What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
My soft heart shape pillow !
Which bottoms are you wearing now?
Some short Ob shorts.
What's the nicest text in your inbox says?
Something Niyas sent me.
Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
Depends.
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Now? Nops.
What's the last movie you watch?
Friday the 13th .
What are you proud of?
My name. hahakz.
What does the oldest text message in your inbox says?
Yes yes , tmr how?
What's the last song you sang out loud?
My life would suck without you.

Do you have any nicknames?
I guess soo.
What does your last received message says?
hahah , i having lessons nw. i sms you later k?
What time do you go to bed last night?
11 plus.
Are you currently happy?
Not rlly.
Who gave you the best advise?
Izah.
Who do u wish to be closest friends?
The people whom i`m close with is enough.
Who did you talk on the phone with last night?
Niyas.
Is anything bugging you right now?
Yeah , the fact that he`s gone for good.
What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
PreetivyRaj.
Do you wear toe socks?
NoOoO?
Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Dad`s office.
Have you ever had you heart broken?
DUH.
What annoys you most in a person?
the person lying.
Do you have crush on somebody?
i dnt think so.
Have you ever tried cocaine?
Not into drugs , never will be.
What's the colour of your room?
Blue.
Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
I doubt.
Do you believe in saying 'talk in cheap'?
Nopz.
Who was the last person who to lay on your bed?
My brother.
Who was the last person to hug you?
Grandmom.
What do you want to say to the person?
You said you were diffrent.
Do you have a life?
Everybody does.
Have you ever think someone dead, when they really didn't?
only in dreams.
What is the reason behind your profile song?
To be stronger even after constantly getting hurt.
Who is the last person you saw in your dream?
The weirdest people , taspal , me , jaspal , jaspreet hansra , and some othr ppl.
Last time you smiled?
Just now.
Have you changed this year?
I guess so.
What are you listening to right now?
A little too not over you - Dacid Archuleta.
Are you talking to someone when doing this?
Nahz.
Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Open , duh ?
Is there a quote you live by?
There`s many i guess?
Do you want someone you can't have?
Hahaha .
Have you ever played an instrument?
recorder ?
What is the worst idea you've in the week?
Running away ?
What were you doing last night at 11pm?
Cousin`s place.
Are you happy with your love life right now?
Single.
What song to describe your love life?
A little too not over you.
Does the person know you like him/her?
who?
Who always make you laugh?
Hannah , khai , izah , olivia , azrie , idah , madia , rajan , fiona.
Do you speak any other language other then English?
Punjabi? alittle of malay? a little of chinese?
Are you blond?
Nopes?
What's your middle name?
Not sure?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Go school i guess?
What do you think you are like?
I can be nice if i wan but i can be a bitch also ?
Who will you choose to die with?
No one , i wanna die alone.
Where have you been today?
Home the whole day.
What game do you play often?
Truth or dare.
Who are you missing right now?
People who`ve disappeared.
What emotions you like to show?
Happiness.
What is life to you?
Sometimes , misery.
If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Talk to someone about it.
Who did you last chat in MSN today?
Preetivy raj and hannah.
Who do you admire the most?
Taylor swift , HAHAKZ.
Which month are you born?
September !
How are you feeling right now?
BORED CAUSE SOME IDIOT WENT OFFLINE.
What is the time now?
3.22pm.
Where are you now?
Home.
What colour do you use to dye your hair?
Hair is natural .
Why are you doing this test?
Cause i have nothing to do and i`m bored?
What do you do when you're moody?
Talk on the phone , or write in my diary. !
Are you stupid?
Errrr no?
Who is more important to you?
Family and closest friends.
Do you think you have enough confidence?
Sometimes.
Who is the person you trust the most?
Hannah , izah , khai , oli.
Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain?
I saw one recently after the rain .
If you have a dream come true, what will it be?
To pass my N levels .
What is your goal for this year?
Pass my N lvls.
Do you believe in eternity love?
Who knows what might last forever.
Who do you love?
My friends and family.
Do you really think it's global warming now?
Should be? i aint a geog student.
What do you hate the most?
The fake rumours.
If someone you love hurts you a lot, what would you do?
Stay .
Do you believe in God?
Yeha.
Who do you care the most?
friends and family and doggies .
What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Like i said , my friends , and family , ROCKY !
What will you bring when you are in a fight?
I dont bring anything ?
How are you feeling today?
Abit down now.
What would you feel when no one longer care about you?
Feel lika loser.
What if your stead is two-timer?
Ask him why , and then leave.
Why are you living in this world?
Cause my mom gave birth to me (:
Are you feeling great now cause the quiz has end?
Abit. HAHAKZ.

So basically i`m bored and had nothing to do so i did this .
I read veron`s blog.. I liked the virgo horoscope , was somehow true ?
Me and izah didn`t go to school today . Dad came home for lunch , he bought us lunch :P
Nasi lemak ! , so we ate and then dad went back to work , i`m supposed to be doing my fnn coursework but i really have no mood , guess i`ll do it soon. I`m watching Mtv and the music video of Thinking of you is being played , weird. I suddenly miss izah.
Text khai asking how was school , he replied me fine , fool !
IDIOT ! hahaks .
I shall update about ystd , i was at the bustop on the way to my cousin`s house at paya lebar.
There was this lady infront of me with damn big boobs , i said in my MIND , damn she got big busts.
The women turned around and stared at me ! i didn`t realize that i had said it out loud ! my friends looked at me with their mouths opened and then started laughing , i walked away in totall embarrasement and messaged khai , idiot alos laughed at me.
Hahaks , tat`s about it !
Byee !
26MARCH 2009.
3.35PM.

2009-03-22T21:36:00.000+08:00

Olivia , bestfriend hahakz.
Sentosa trip 2009 (:
Yeah, blogging. Did the peirce ace learning today , spent the whole day doing it.
I found out that someone has the same dog as me with the same dog name.
ahh , logging off nothing much to say.
Bye.
loves (:
9.42pm
SUNDAY 22 MARCH 2009.

2009-03-20T20:09:00.000+08:00

20TH March.
8.14PM
Okays , so nothing much lately.
Tuesday was fun cause my whole class along with me went to sentosa.
yaaay us ! hahaks , camwhored alot , played beach volleyball , soccer and stuff.
everyone was so united and happy. Celebrated Miss khai`s birthday , gave her a suprise with a 3kg caake ! yeah , and then we went home around 7 plus .
Bus journey home , it was loooong , camwhored abit , then the guys were psping , while the girls , were like doing their own thing ? listening music and stuff.
Then some shit happened at home and all.
Yeaah , then the days after that was okay , went tution and school and all .
Holidays are coming to and end , sadly.
Yeah , shannen , jst chill aite , it`ll be fine !
i`m logging off ,
grandparents place -.-
bye (:

2009-03-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

16 MARCH 2009.

WEE HOURS IN THE EARLY MORNING.
Okays , so i actually set a alarm at 4.30am to wake up and call *Viki* ( not real name).
Then , i randomly woke up at 2.30 am , then i called hamzah , talked to him and ruben for awhile , then rest for awhile , called nichaal at 5am , no answer , she fell asleep.
Then *Viki* called back , was dreaming before he called , then i woke up at the right time and called him back. Talked till 7am in the morning , then listen radio till like 8am , woke up and started getting ready for school.
SCHOOL.
School started at 9am ended at 3pm ( was suppose to end later , but mr.ong was kind enough)
yeah , got home and showed dad my report slip. He didn`t yell as what i had expected , he said '' whatever happened , happened , now study hard for your mid years''.
My mom on the other hand is still nagging and irritating the shit out of me.

Imma just sign off now.
bye

2009-03-11T08:35:00.000+08:00

Okays , i`m in school library now.
Free period , i think i have fallen for (:
hahaks shhhh , jessmyn is recovering from her heartbreak slowly.
i want her to know i`ll always be there for her (: yaay.
Got tution today , sucha a drag man. wtf.
Hannah - beastfriend
Khai-bastfriend.
azie came school today , finally (:
Been rapping stupid lame stuff with taspal and nichaal ! ahahks.
I can`t wait for holy this saturday (:
I have a date , hopefully he doesn`t stood me up !
Gotta go , byeee (:
11 MARCH 2009
8.40AM.

2009-03-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

9TH MARCH 2009
10.40PM

Okayys , school was abit okays i guess.
Just cancel out the part where Mdm Foong totally started nagging at me and oli for being irresponsible . People change , who cares if it takes years , what matters is they change and i know i`m right. Okays moving on , so there was no cca for me , i went back home.
The bus ride home was damn shitty. One stop before mine , some serangoon garden secondary school students came up . I don`t wanna talk about it , so irritating.
Ps : to that malay girl , yeah i know i`m pretty , you are jealous right ? you are short,fat and ugly.
AHAHAHAK.
whatever, khai cut his hair :P FINALLY.
Hannah is abit overreacting when me and khai hit her.
Olivia is stoning everyday.
Azie is , i dont know la , ruining her life.
Elf is , making the wrong choices and hurting me internally.
i cannot be bothered about this anymore , your life , your choices .
Listen up ah , don`t ever come and ask me for advices , ALL of you .
Cause i give advice , you all also don`t listen , so just don`t ask okay.
Save my thoughts and my breath.
Imma just stop here , not really in the mood.
Thanks A STAR STAR PAL for your wonderful advice & thanks for being there.

Oliviasharen syndrome - singing whenever we`r bored. It irritates hans alot.
I and fiona broke up today , she rather have azizah , so we split.
So sad ; sighs. hahaks yeaahs.
i ain`t lesbo , i`m straight , too hot to be lesbo :P

Boy i`ve missed you so much , you just left like i was some unwanted doll ,
you never gave second thoughts about my feelings , did i even mean anything to you?
Were all those things you said to me all a lie ? , Are they ever coming true? Who knows when you`ll come back again , you come and leave as and when you like , one day , when i`m totally over everything , then you`ll realize that it`s a little too late , and that will be the day , i`ll find my smile once again. I`m taking back my love , i give it all up , i`m taking back my love , i`ve given you too much.

Let all the little people stare.

2009-03-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

Heamen.
My bestest friend.
I met him , two years ago , through my god brother Ryan.
Bugis was the place we met , the place we got to know each other , the place which held so many memories for us.
Bugis Kfc , He looked so awesome , the first time i looked at him properly the only words that came out from my mouth to Ryan was , he is hot. We got to know each other that same very day on msn.
He got along abit well with my cousin , he made fun of her and stuff at kfc. We had so much fun.
That week we had become so close , we started having phone conversations every night , msn chats everyday , text each other. We share everything , our secrets , our stories , everything.
He cheers me up whenever i`m down , whenever i`m just sitting by myself , he`ll make my day by just saying the simplest things. He has always make me think happy about myself. He has always made me think that my life is perfect. I love him alot , and i never wanna lose him , he is the only person besides my 3 other besties which i care alot for . His advices have helped me alot in life. Heamen if you are reading this , i really treasure u , i`m damn greatful for having you in my life , i`ve never regretted knowing you , i`ll be by your side forever , i`ll do anything to make u smile .
Iloveyou bestie (:

9.04PM.
SUNDAY 8TH MARCH.

2009-02-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

SixteenthFeburary09
8.56pm.

It always have to be me ain`t it ?
The same old thing , the same old story , the same everything.
I`ve been through this so many times and yet i still get hurt everytime it happens again.
You took everything for granted didn`t you? It was a fun o`l game for you wasn`t it?
I never was this way , i never thought it would happen to me again.
Different people telling me diffrent thing. I don`t know what to do . I feel so weak , so empty , so torn apart. Look me in my eyes and tell me everything.
I want to hear everything from you ..
Your words meant so much , i remember them so clearly that everytime when i sit down and think of you , i can hear em speaking to me.

It`s really good to hear your voice saying my name ,
it sound`s so sweet.

2009-02-09T02:39:00.000+08:00

EIGHTFEBURARY 2009 , 2,51AM.
Okayys i`m blogging.
HAPPY SHANNEN!?
well , alot has been happening , there`s so much to tell but i don`t wish to write it down.
Made new friends , lost some friend .
Got close to new people , drifted away from old people.
Life sucks but you know what?; we gotta deal with it.
Shannen , i agree with you , the punjabi community sucks , nothing right comes out of some people`s mouth , apparently they don`t know that if this same thing were to happen to them , they`d be the one hiding their faces , so chill aite babes?
To think of it , it`s kinda weird. I used to be close to shannen , but i don`t know why but somehow we just drifted .. We were so into our own lifes that we just drifted. I miss the time`s we`ve had babe.
Nikki also feels so diffrent now , she`s like no longer the same. Everyone`s changed man.
Well i`m just happy that life is going smoothly for me now .
Though i`m still abit upset and all , i`m just happy things have become better . (:
Been hearing some shit about where Karishma aka Rano has some problems with me , when asked , her brother says no . Seriously uh , this is getting irritating .
Went to pasar Malam today with Ruby , Pamela , Nes , Kov , setan and samuel.
Fun ballz. I ate Ramli Burger for the first time in my life , so deprived childhood right ? , i know. hahaks. Nice , slacked awhile then went home . Reached home at 10pm , simi and parmesh came over awhile , slacked then they left.
Ahhh , N levels this year , stressful luh , almost everyday also got remedial , irritating sioool !
But i swear , after school it`s freaking fun with azrie , idah , rajan , madia , and some other dude .
Why is everyone so head over heals cause of valentine ? It`s just a silly day , if you really loved your love one , everyday would be valentines day .
Nonsense .
Anyways i`m off.
Sharen CAUR.

2008-12-27T02:37:00.000+08:00

I was home the whole day . I didn`t even go down or anywhere. I just stayed home and was watching despreate housewife the whole day .
I woke up at 4.30pm. brushed teeth , ate lunch , simi and parmesh came over . talked awhile then they had to go bugis. they left 3 bags filled with heavenly chocolate in my fridge :P
After i had my shower , i started watching despreate housewifes , all the way till now , decided to stop and blog first.
boring and quiet day it has been.
well , i shall end it here and get back to my despreate housewifes ((:
Till tomorrow ,
sharen .
2.53am.

2008-12-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

kay ,
24 midnight , 25th early morning .
Was at the airport fetching my cousins . who just came back from india.
i actually went just to eat macdonalds :P yeah , okay , so when one cousin came out .. we were waiting like .. half an hour for the other one to come out .
me and my other cousins started saying .. the air stewardess all come out di , my cousin still inside lost.
haha ! funny ! Nichaal called me .. riko was on the other line . yeah so chat for awhile and all , then i put down .
Then someone said something that really pissed me off.
dont wanna talk about it .
so yeah , finally my cousin came out with her mom .. then off to stay cousins house..
we reached home around 3,4 am luh.
Played with rocky for awhile .. rocky is my cousin`s german shepard , considered mine cause HAHA. nevermind , long story. okay then slept .. Woke up at 12.30 .. went downstairs for lunch . after that , my other uncle and cousin came to my cousin`s house .. with the new mers.. my dad came after that.. i had a lunch party to attend to so i left myself.
Had fun at pamela`s house. The food was solid LAH ! hahas , my aunty thinks i`m mad , every time also talking about food .
kay moving on , after pamela`s house .. slacked for awhile .. then went home and got ready for the night function at Eastcoast goldkist function hall.
saw a few community people and the armanis boyys.
so yeah , simi and parmesh performed.. Over all it was okay , dancing was fun and all.
Back with an injury .. leg darn pain and swollen , cnt walk proply , cnt bend leg .. sighs.!
well , till tomorrow.
loves , sharen !
2.01am

2008-12-24T13:02:00.000+08:00

23/12/08.
Okayys . Had fun today .
Went swimming with Nikki,taran,manveer,rishi and myself.
Little people , but it was hell loads of fun luh.
We went to the seng kang pool.
Once again everyone had to wait for me to come.
hahas , we were suppose to meet at 1pm . i woke up at 1 pm !
hahas , at 12.50pm taran called to ask where i was , i said getting ready.
poor fellas ! , princess sharen .. must wait ! hahas lol.
Okays so moving on , i reached there at 2pm i think , and we walked from the mrt to the seng kang swimming thingie .. nikki said it was a ten minute walk ... dont know how long we walked !
could take a lrt but none of us thought of that. Lol ! bunch of jokers.
so yeah , we had basically 2 hours of fun inside the pool place. There were slides , and stuff.
We took pictures also (: .. won`t be uploading on blog , lazy meee !
Yeah then after swimming , we showered and all , left the place around 5.45pm . Took a lrt back this time ! hahask !
Slacked around sengkang abit , then we all went diffrent ways.
Manveer & Sharen - same bus to hougang/serangoon north.
Rishi - LRT to sengkang .
Nikki & Taran - MRT to kovan/jurong.
Yeap , and before going swimming , when i reached the interchange.
i saw kannan ! , Lol ! well nikki spotted him , i just called to check , it was him.
funny luhh.
Christmas day - 2 places to go.
Lunch at pamela`s .. Some engagement party in the night.
Can`t wait , hope will have fun !
toodles !
till tomorrow,
sharen (:

2008-12-23T21:23:00.000+08:00

2008-12-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

Okays , back to post again .
didn`t really enjoy myself much when i went down today .
oh boo hoos.
Pamela came back from ang mo kio todayy to visit ! yayy .
called kovi , jaga and prabu to come serangoon north,
they came after like 30 minutes. . so in the mean time , me , zhallyka and pamela followed zhallyka go to point , she bought old chung kee and topped up aidil`s prepaid card.
When we got back to sna4 , met kov,jaga,prabu .
so sat down .. don`t know why they were damn quiet . i got pissed off but didn`t show.
then black`s cousin brother came , and kov told us to go to the other block for awhile ..
We went away for 2 hours and they didn`t bother about us.
Met Dhinesh , talked to him for awhile about some past stuff.
yeah , then he cycled away , (:
After two hours of chatting , gossips and me trying to call malaysia , we decided to leave.
sent kov a serious scarstic message , fucker total basted us.
He said something , but i told him , to learn from him , and never messaged him back after that.
Went online , called malaysia again (: , parent`s came back , had family dinner with family . lol.
mom showed me what she bought for me from india , loved the suits luh !
thanks mom , love yah !
My brother got a ps3 ! The result , he`s lending me his psp whenever i want !
aww thanks brother , you so sweet *(:
so yeah , he`s playing his ps3 now and talking to siva , i`m in the hall using pop`s laptop as my darn com is down !
need to catch up on my despreate housewife seasons !
hahas.
Till tomorrow ,
sharen *(:

2008-12-22T15:53:00.000+08:00

I`m back to blogg !
Wonder if it`s some in thing to have a blog? Everyone`s having it now adays.
Well , the holidays are coming to an end .. Going to miss it but .. i don`t know why , i`m kinda excited to go back to school.
Meet my besties again , hang with em (:
Get into trouble again with em. And besides ! , peirce secondary is moving back to it`s original site ! yaaay , it`s going to be march back parade again i guess.
Life hasn`t been sooo good so far , but i`ve had loads of fun.
Made more new friends , learned new things,languages.
Fell more in love with SPANISH ! :)
Me,nichaal&priya have also been through alot of shit this 2 months , but we had each other so it wasn`t so bad.
Went to the singapore flyer during the holidays.
Kay , firstly. It`s boring if a few people go , but it`s hell loads of fun if you go with alot of people.
I went in the afternoon , but i think it`ll be more fun to go in the night? , i don`t know.
I went ice skating during the holidays , that was HELL LOADS of fun !
My cousin from sydney came back also.
I was suppose to follow my mom & cousin go india , but i backed out.
Thank god i didn`t go. With mom abroad , it was me , dad , brother and cousin at home.
Dad and brother would go out almost everyday.
cousin also would be with her boyfriend .
That would leave me alone with the maid , so i`d go down slack/lepak with sna4 people.
Well i guess fun time`s over , my mom came back today early morning . 22/12/08. 3am.
There were so many punjabi`s in the airport. DARN FUNNY.
i saw this guy at the airport . He was tall , wearing orange specs ( i think) , good looking , well built , white shirt , white and blue shorts. We kept looking at each other , he looked DARN familiar ! , still searching who is he .
Well , the punjabi group thing now .
I decided to leave it for good , as for someone in there told me i was an outsider in their group.
i felt offended and no one even stood up for me .
Ever since then i only decided to keep very few of them as close friends.
Who cares if the rest didn`t say it , they didn`t stand up for me.
Nichaal`s attached by the way ! , Yayy nichh !
His name is satish . , i`m happy for her , she feels damn happy , she is happy.
she deserves him i guess (:
last long kangeri .
Okay , time for 259-familia.
Azrie came up with that name.
In it are ,
Azrie,me,fiona,hans,idah,faiz,khai,azie.
Secondary school life buddies , always there for each other.
I miss khai , azrie , hans , faiz , idah , azie , fion alot .
all the nonsense we would do during recess , after school.
During f&n , khai and faiz would always have some new drama .
it would be damn fun , and they always make lessons fun !
During our normal lessons , azrie,me,khai,idah,hans . . always make some kind of trouble.
Sadly azrie and idah wont be in the same class anymore =(
i`ll miss you guys loads , but we`ll still meet up during recess or what !
damn , i so need a cca if not mdm foong is gonna kill mee.
volleyball ? , i dont think i`ll get accepted back in there. . wayyy to much drama.
Drama club ..? NAH , was in there once and i left cause of the people .
maybe library or something , i don`t know.
well , i`m off .
This is my longest post ever. (SEE DARRYL , I DO HAVE LONG POSTS ! ).
well yeah.
loadsa love ,
sharen caur (:

2008-10-31T13:28:00.000+08:00

Hellows.
Back to blogging , been long .
Well , alot has been happening .

Life has been great lately .
New friends , thought me alot of new things.
Started writting more poems.
Joe,robert,raj,rizal,ashok,ghazali,vikki,zul.
Priya&nicch , you people are the funniest bunch ever !

thanks for all the endless laughter.
Fiona , idah , izah , azrie , khai , hans .
Thanks for always being there for me , you guys are always treasure from me.
Fiona,azrie,idah . Sorry for breaking down today.
Thanks for the meaningful messages , happy to have friends like you guys.
Iloveyou people.
Azrie , don`t worry , i`ll always be there for you okay , that`s what true bestfriends are for. !
I`ll never let any bitch hurt you , that`s what bestfriends are for.
We will go down okay ! , we`ll wait and hunt her down ! :P
Hannah , your birthday bash power ah !
aha , Dad`s bdae coming soon , haiiz !
haha , okay , i`m logging off .
till then ,
bye (:
Till The End.

2008-09-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

FIONA SIM PEI JUN !
i`m updating now , happy?

haha .
Okay , updates.
Steffi has been going around brain washing my close people and telling them stuff about me.
She is so low class. She thinks i made a Anti-steffi friendster account , yah i would do that if i was low class like her sia.
Pal,priya,nicch,ryan,kiran,amrita,nikki,idah.
Thanks for being there : Much appreciated seh !
I don`t know whats going on with people now adays.
Simran , please don`t act big when you`r a nothing , someday , you`ll get into deep shit then i`ll see how your darling steffi helps you. You are like her dog sia. whatever.
hurhur , Saturday,punjabi school . Got exam.
ENGLISH SCHOOL !
Well , my class is so irritating sia, my pens many missing and all. Crap man. Then now it`s like super hard to start paying attention in class.
exams are near , freaking out sia. School`s fun when you got besties like hannah,khai,idah,azrie,azizah,idah and faiz. They make you laugh like siao la.
Hannah accidentally calls me khai and calls khai sharen.
wth , she got issues :D

2008-08-22T20:08:00.001+08:00

It`s been a month since i last blogged.
Updating now.
TODAY:
School has been fun this week , lessons boring though.
Miss Tham made us write so much today , nash kept saying , this english class not copying class.
Funny sia. Sufi was going around kicking stuff today. He got nash into trouble with Mr.Siva.He got let off though. Went home with Rina,hannah and myself, Bloody 132 was pack like no tomorrow like that. Rina should be either at the hospital with laura for her checkup or either playing majong. Oli was suppose to go home with us , but had to go back to school when she was halfway away from school. I don`t know why but this whole week , i`ve been sleeping before 10.30 sia. Feels nerdy i know but i`ve been getting sick alot lately , doctor said lack of sleep also.Being a typical kaaisu singaporean. Hahas. Today was fun , after school , Met shamini. Had our lunch , then went under the void deck to slack. The moment we sat down only , the whole bunch of group came. Saw gopal and gurdev , looking at gopal`s face spoiled my mood.
Ex godbrother , Toapayoh fella come serangoon north want to find problem. Loser.
Well anyways , i`m stopping here.
Khai , i`m blogging cause you said i never update.
babad dome is being hated.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZRI ! YOU`R 15! (:
Khai , hans , caur , faiz. (:

2008-07-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

Heyys.
i don`t know whats going on now adays.
Recently i`ve been hearing alot of shit .
This , that , i`ve had enough lah sia.
This is a heart not a funfair, not something u can play around with.
You are hurting people`s feelings let alone mine and yours.
Stop playing around will you ? Start being sincere and loyal to your loved ones.
That ring you gave me , i was so happy , how stupid can i be to belive all your lies.
You cheated , i trusted you.
I hate you.
bye.

2008-07-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

Hellows.
Just had some fight with my mom , what the heck has she turned into.
I hate the new her. She is trying to be someone she is totally not at all.
Well , she shouted at me , being a normal human being i shouted at her back.
Thanks to her twist of tales , my dad don`t let me lepak with my friends anymore.
Mom of mine called my friends losers , and said i`d become one also .
Who is she to judge my friends? , I can`t stand her anymore.
My love for her is decreasing day by day.
Moving on , Why , ? why do i feel that i still need you back in my life?
I miss you and i`m waiting for you to come back , i know you will.
I know you love me and not your own girlfriend , you admitted it dozens of time.
I saw pamela`s macdonald guy today , he and i were in the same lift , he is one hell hot of a matt guy , he smiled at me and entered the lift , '' what floor'' was the only thing that came out from my mouth . He replied ''11'' with a grinnnn !
hahas , when he was getting out of the lift he said , thanks bye .
Went riding with this unknown malay fella today , damn funn !
I`m sleepy and tired ,
Goodnytes.
Adios AmigO`s.

2008-07-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, azizah din come school today.
We had reading period again today. DARN fun weyy ! hahas.
we played truth or dare , at first me and hannah sat far away from the guys who were playing , then we 20 minutes left till lesson end , we joined in . actually we just sat there and hafiz said , once u sit , atomatically you`r in.
Moving on , don`t know who went to spin the thermometer , and it pointed at me.
Had to do a dare. WTF! The dare was , i had to go to shenjun , touch his hand and in a so called horny manner say '' tonight'' , Okay so i did it.
After doing it , wenjie fell off the chair laughing , and basically the rest of them were just laughing their asse`s off . Miss ren was looking at me with the face saying ... WHAAAAAAAAT. hurhur, she just din say it though . Well , after school met ruby,jaspreet,pamlea and shamini . We slacked for awhile , then i went back to have my one hour tution , then after tution i came back down , it started raining . So me , ruby , jaspreet and pamlea decided to play in the rain. HAHA. darn fun , opposite where we were slacking/lepaking , CHIWAWA and friends were sitting . Lol , someone got stuck in the lift. WAH NOISY BODOH. Then we all call the technical people , hurhur . He got rescued . uhhuhhh .
Now at my grandparents house posting this , i`m leaving now.
adios amigos!
CAUR.

2008-07-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

Okays , blahs.
today was awfully sad .
I was emoing , but then became happy when i was with my TRUE BUDDEHS!
Moving on , today had fun talking kok with azrie , idah and koktiong. While waiting for ipw to start.
hurhur , had fun. Then during ipw , mr.song was talking mostly to the scouts.
yeah , After school went to meet jaspreet,pamlea and ruby ! hahas.
FUN MAN! Then when we were slacking , the serangoon north indian guys were fighting with each other. Verbally . Police came soon after that. One team had fled , the other team were sitting under the void deck opposite where we were sitting . when we saw the police , we fled also , incase they screened us . I went home , hurhur as i was afraid bloody dad would shout.
I was darn down when i was downstairs , then rishi called .. After that something in me just made me go nuts. Hurhur , i started screaming on the phone , was totally high .
Well , still abit in shock and depression.
I`m done for now ,
Loves , caur.

2008-07-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

Okays , i`m still in shock after what happened.
How can he do that to me ? I gave you 2 chances , it`s more then enough now , i`m starting to hate you . Seriously , why you did this ? I know i should`n really be bothered and everything but , still . I do have feelings aite.
Everything was your fault .
Flash back , nothing was my fault. Every time we would quarrel , nothing seemed to be my mistake , it was always you.
Never mind , i shall respect your stupid decision but let me say this out once again ,
There will be no more chances after today , this was the last.
I realise , that sometimes , your truefriends , aren`t really ur true friends at all.
Well , i know one thing`s for sure.
my 6 sayangs will always be there for me.
6 sayangs frm 3A3 (:
That`s it for now ,
shitballs.
CAUR.

2008-07-07T12:44:00.000+08:00

FRIENDS
Sometimes i wonder , does things really happen for a reason?
i miss those time`s i would spend time with my godsisters and godbrothers.
They were the most important things in my life , though many of them are still with me , i still miss the few who has left us.
Obviously i would never miss ashwin , he was the worst thing that could happen to me , the lies he told me , the way he would make me think good about him . Within 24 hours he could hurt me , and i couldn`t even see this coming . He always said , he was never like anyother guy , YEAH SUCKSHIT BITCH , you are the worse fucka on the farkeng block.
But still i can`t bring myself to hate him , i only dislike every liking him. The best things that are still with me today and i`m very happy they are here with me today are :
Hans
Khai
Idah
Azrie
Azie
Oli
Jagjeet
belvin
pal
nikku
jaggu
harmesh
paul
Ryan
gurshan
Taran.
Nikki
jeevan
jaskiran
priya
nicch
jaspreet
ruby
pamlea
simran
shannen
charmaine.
And many more , they mean my life to me. I`d do anything to see them happy. Though our many ups and downs we are always there for each other. These people are the true meanings of friends , they don`t just leave you dangling there like ashwin and gopal . I`m sorry for mentioning names , but i`m basically stating facts. You both just betrayed us and left us alone , which we are actually happy .

FAMILY
i seriously don`t know what the hell is happening now adays , sometimes it`s my dad , sometimes my mom , Totally screwed up shit.
Mom , if whatever you are doing turns out true , i don`t know what to di , sighs.
I GIVE UP.
i just want my life LIKE BEFORE.
EVERYTHING WAS SO FARKING SMOOTH.
one of these days , i`m really gona die of stress and depression luh.
i`m off .
Goodbye.

2008-04-05T11:32:00.000+08:00

Life`s a bitch. I swear .
or maybe i shall say , life`s a skank (:
Well , no one tries to insult my bestie and gets away with it.
Cause the rule is , One for all and all for one. I`m a skank , and if you ain`t happy with it then i suggest you change yourself . Cause i ain`t changing for No one .
That`s just the way i am.

The name`s caur , Sharen caur.

2007-11-10T17:27:00.000+08:00

Oh whatever.
I`m back to blog . Yahs. erm hannah when are u going to blog again ?
Will be going Sydney on the 30th of november . Will be back 15th of december.

So dont try to need me. (: haix. tired man .
been partehhing for like 3 days in a row .. Now my fourth one coming tomorrow .
Man .. I`m so busy .. hahahaha!

Okkays that`s about it now .
Im off .
BITCH is signing off now I:

SHAREN!

2007-10-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

Okkay my blog is dead.
Okkays whatever .
Yeah yeah . got my bloody results today.
i failed 3. passed 4. bad ? yeah whatever.
Father wan scold.scold la. i had enough of his nonsense.
Not going to school anymore. Father say no need go .
OOOO. That`s cool man (:

Anyways i`m off.
Chiaos !
SHAREN !

2007-09-28T14:27:00.000+08:00

Nicholas . I love the cake .
Bake me one thanks!
This guy is an excellent chef. Good luck for ur exam tomorrow! (:

2007-09-17T07:45:00.000+08:00

Updating !
The man ,
who are you ?

Okkays anyway, very sick
very cold . wanna die already .
hmm . puasa . lol . lucky i nt malay sia .
sure die .
hahahaha !

err yea blah blah blah
thats bout it

2007-09-10T07:13:00.000+08:00

what the hell luhhs
myy mom thinks she`s the only one who can scream in the house.
she asked me for help i said okay .
As i was not sure of wth she said i asked her to repeat and .
arghhs forget it .
wthever .
And then i hear something from girlfriend which shocked me .
How could she do this ? Why ? I don`t bring in people`s mom for no reason without letting them know .
i mean .. maybe the test was true..
i do have only 2 friends i can ever trust .
its nt u babe. its nt u .
i think i just figured out who it was .
Never trust anyone over anything until u`ve seen it.

2007-09-03T05:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FIRDAUS .( birthday tmr)
hahas.
finally im fourteen!
sweet sweet fourteen (:
well
that`s all about it.
oh and gurshan , u cheated man !
vikram was supposed to be the first (:
well nvm`s . Thanks fr all the wishes everyone!
loves loves
MUARCKKS !
It was never meant to be like this boy .

2007-09-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

Back to blog agains.
Well i had fun today ..
but then im not happy.
i was forced to go school today, it was fun
but yet im not happy..
forget it.
i shall not blog about it .
well ridwan sang nice.
nadirah sang nice.
so did the other 2 fellows.
great jobb peeps.
Anywayys
HAPPY TEACHER`S DAYY.
2 dayys till my bddae (:

Paper bags and plastic hearts.

2007-08-09T11:27:00.000+08:00

well today was okkay i guess.
we were like confrencing all day long .
Its funn luhhs i mean it`s not everyday eu talk to ur closest friends on the phone.
Suki,jaskiran,amrit and gurshan
5/8/7 was loved.
Those sweet memories.
hahas.
had fun.
tc loves loves
LilSharen.

im not sorry for hating you biatch.

2007-07-23T07:32:00.000+08:00

Heyys. well today was kinda okkay i guess
my cuzzies stayed over my place. We slept at 1am yesterday.
Then today we went to see my cuzzies new house.
there was a guitar outside the house.
i was so cock eye luhh. i did`n even see it.
then myy dad was like sharen there got guitar.
then i started jamming.. i only noe hw to play abit.
then this guy came up say to me.. eu are new aren`t eu..
i was like yea.. then he teach me hw to play.. it was his guitar ! =x so ps lahh
Got to noe him. got his number lorls..
kk nw going for dinner i think.
loves loves
emolicious sharen
And that`s what it`s all about.

2007-07-20T13:14:00.001+08:00

Heyys!
what the heck luhhs.
loads of shit going on now adays.
yesterday i saw her blood boil.
It finally sank in. I saw the evilness in her.
you should not have just stood there helplessly.
i feel so sorry that i did not help her.
I'm a bad friend. I'm hopeless. To everyone.
I'm sorry that i didn`t help. I was going to . But then she walked off.
You should have not apologised. I'm sorry girl. Don`t hate me.
Well this is my new blog skin. Nice? Hannah said it was.
Let me just tell tat idiot who is spamming me.. Its no use.
i have no time to waste my time on you.

I'm sorry girlfriend.
Being loved is not so easy.

2007-07-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

2007-06-14T09:22:00.000+08:00

i was online one day,playing my usual game.
Then i got to know this girl,
and sharen was her name.
Her voice is hard to describe,
better yet harder to forget.
Her vocals matured and sweet,
the same goes with the way she speaks.
Her voice was that of an angel,
which can turn any stone into diamonds.
Her laughter is the most wonderful,
as it tells you she has the loveliest smile.
One that will leave a memory,
that last`s for eternity.
THANKS TO WOLFFIE! He wrote me this beautiful song. xDD

2007-05-31T05:10:00.000+08:00

Never again-Kelly clarkson.
I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green
I hope when your in bed with her, you think of me
I would never wish bad things, but i don't wish you well
Could you tell, by the flames that burned away

I never read your letter
'Cos i knew what you'd say
Give me that sunday school answer

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere
It was you, who just ended like you did
I was the last to know you knew
Exactly what you would do
It don't say, you simply lost your way
She may believe you but i never will
Never again

If she really knows the truth, she deserves you
A trophy wife, oh how cute
Ignorance is bliss
but when your day comes and he'll be through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together but alone

You wrote me in a letter
You couldn't say it right to my face
Give me that sunday school answer
Repent yourself away

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there for you
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere
It was you, who just ended like you did
I was the last to know you knew
Exactly what you would do
It don't say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but i never will
Never again

[Bridge]
Never again will i hear you
Never again will i miss you
Never again will i fall to you
Never

Never again will i kiss you
Never again will i want to
Never again will i love you
Never

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there for you
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere
It was you, who just ended like you did
I was the last to know you knew
Exactly what you would do
It don't say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but i never will

I never will
I never will

Never again